Dale Didn’t Like The Movie

blair witch movie terrible

This is funny

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This Guy Is Life In The Early 21st Century

Last evening, upon returning from Friday mass, I was moved to pray for the fine people our great nation.

Not really. I got home super late last night, and it being Friday, I decided, “Fuck it. I’m going to insanely high anyway.”  So I did, and it’s legal here, so I’m not only a hero, I’m a great citizen.

So, a candy, a crazy potent brownie… (I’m not kidding. 500 mg THC brownie the size of 2/3 of a credit card. I have been nibbling it like a little mouse all week), a couple bowls of Animal Crackers weed (see the weekly review), AND infinite hits of the vape pen later (no half measures for this man)… I was super high.

I was so high that I decided to get on YouTube and watch/listen to old Fleetwood Mac songs. Old ones, from when they were a hard blues band, all the way to the fluff of the Rumours era. It was lovely. I dozed, I floated. I lucid dreamed Stevie Nicks vs the Green Manalishi… it was lovely. THEN the above  video played (the blessing/curse of autoplay) and I was ripped from revery, and faced with this guy.

Ok. Watch this video while you read this. This guy is so amazingly information rich…. it’s like Finnegan’s Wake on drums. Here’s why.

  • His drum setup is insane. Look at all the cymbals.
  • His drums seem wedged between a built in china cabinet and… another built in china cabinet?
  • I don’t know how, but I am sure that his mom is no more than 10 feet away
  • Little Lies? You’re going to live drum to an 80’s pop song from Fleetwood Mac? That’s your showpiece?
  • He’s not great
  • He’s not terrible
  • He has shared this with the world.
  • Half a million people have watched this
  • Despite half a million in the audience, our man is obviously very alone (mom doesn’t count)
  • We have only been able to share videos of ourselves doing shit like this for a few years. This is a new phenomenon.
  • Sociology. This is. Read Bowling Alone.

Marvin Fleer, you are the shining exemplar of this day and age. You are the zeitgeist. Go forth and drum forever.

 

 

The Creative Process With Mark And Dale

stoner humor 420 writing creativitiy

Dale and I collaborate on our posts (which are now written on Movie Pilot, go there and look for us), and I use legal cannabis to help with creativity. Also I’m usually gaming while Dale is writing, so… it goes hand in hand.

This text fragment is a peek into the creative process. What is art? What is life? What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me.

Supernatural – Golden Girls And Dick Jokes

golden girls humor supernatural winchester mildred

Let’s get that poncho off and start oiling the old glove.

Supernatural Review

Into The Mystic

Mildred. Her name was Mildred. She was a sunny, sexy, senior in Oak Park Retirement Home. Although her name implies that she is a Confederate widow of dour countenance, she is actually pretty and sparkly, and totally doable. Ah, Mildred. Dean should have given you the old Blanche Deveraux (which is 2 parts Blanche DuBois to 1 part Vivian Vance). That may not make sense, but neither does Supernatural. If you get anywhere near it with a critical eye, you immediately start bashing your head against the wall, like the victims in tonight’s episode </segue> which is entitled “Into The Mystic” because, fuck it… Van Morrison is Irish, kinda, and banshees are Irish, or Scottish… whatever. I digress.

supernatural viagra banshee dean joke

Agent Osbourne tells a dick joke.

Agents Osbourne and Butler

The monster of this week is a Banshee. Check your Supernatural bingo card, and if you have Banshee, you win a nonexistent toaster (one winner per household. No habla Sumerian). The episode opens on the Irish moor of yore (30 years yore anyway), where we see a young father of a baby doting upon same.
Door opens mom comes home, happy family, dancing, laughing… banshee. Dad hears a terrible shrieking sound (no, not Metal Machine Music, although nice reference), loses his shit, bashes his head against the wall, while mom books it to the kitchen, where she earnestly gathers a bunch of things that will be used to banish the Banshee. Bansheegone. Banishes banshees beautifully. Buy some now.
Mom isn’t quick enough, Dad dies of self inflicted cranial trauma, and a scary floaty witchy specter appears, and starts consuming dad’s braaaaaaains. Mom finally gets all the shit for the spell, and proceeds to open her arm and bleed out, when all she needed to was slice her palm. Bad judgement in the heat of the moment. She somehow bleeds out in moments, even though that’s not what would happen in real… no no we don’t do that. Anyway, banshee is banished in a flash, dad’s dead and mom dies shortly thereafter. Baby cries, bereft of family. An orphan. And, scene.

30 Years Later

Sam is moping around the bunker, consumed with guilt over not trying to save Dean when he was trapped in Purgatory. Remember that with the vampire from the Bi-you?

Lucifer got in Sam’s head and Dean tries to distract Sam with a case. Luckily there’s one only 15 minutes away. Lucifer ex Machina, indeed.

So detectives Osbourne and Butler (Black Sabbath reference) go to the nicest old folks home in the world, to investigate a possible monster.

Upon arrival at the retirement home the boys upgrade the possible monster to definite banshee.

The victim (Harold) was in a locked room and bashed his own brains out, while screaming, “Get it out of my head!”

No, he wasn’t talking about Ice Ice Baby (although that’s now in your head). The sinister banshee emits a shriek that’s only heard by the intended victim. We learned this when the banshee took her next victim, the manager of the retirement home. He was speaking with the GMILF-y Mildred when he did the old, “Get it out of my head” bit before smashing through a window, and falling to his death. Mildred saw the banshee feed upon the brains of the decedent.  Banshee looks up and sees Mildred. Uh oh. Now we know who’s next.

supernatural tv show review banshee sam and deaf hunter

Gotcha, Motherfucker (but not quite as distinct)

A Nice Choice

While investigating the death of Andrew (the second guy who died) Sam interviews Marlene, a maid who is deaf. Why does that matter? It doesn’t really, but it’s a cool direction for the show to take. Turns out (spoiler) she’s a hunter. In fact she’s the baby in the crib at the start of the show (from 30 years ago). The banshee made her deaf, but she was rescued by an Irish hunter, who raised her, and trained her in the ways of hunting. She’s down a major sense and she still kicks ass. Turns out (while chatting w/ Sam) that her late grandfather was a Man of Letters, which makes her a Legacy.  Very cool. Could they be setting up the groundwork for a spin off?

Now we have three hunters on the case. You may notice that Marlene is wielding a gold blade (she’s threatening Sam because she thought he and Dean were Banshees due to lip reading and context). That’s what kills banshees. In this scene Dean has popped back to the bunker to get some gold blades. While he’s there he runs into….

castiel lucifer dean men of letters bunker amara darkness

Oh Dean, Casifer is gonna use you to get Amara.

Casifer Rising

Castiel, who is possessed by Lucifer (we’ll call them Casifer), is at the Men of Letters bunker looking for clues on how to tackle the Darkness, because he obviously has no idea. I love Cas playing Lucifer playing Cas. I got bored with Castiel seasons ago, but this is great.

Dean confides to Casifer that he is drawn to Amara and the pull is getting stronger. Casifer files that tidbit away in his “Use this to screw Dean over” folder, and then we’re back to the banshee jamboree. As stays behind.

Dean is introduced to Marlene (it’s not her real name but I couldn’t quite hear it so Marlene it is) and then he, Marlene, and Sam work to protect Mildred from the impending Banshee. The girls objectify the boys in a way that if that tables were turned, all the SJWs on Tumblr would explode and coat the earth with self righteous slime. Anyhow, the girls think the boys are cute. Mildred openly comes on to Dean, who begs off. Why? Because he’s decent? No. Mildred susses it out. It’s because he’s SMITTEN with the DARKNESS. This is known as foreshadowing. It means you cast four shadows, like if you were on Tatooine (nerd rage in 3,2,1…)

The banshee comes but…. it’s Dean who is the target! Chaos, bleeding eyes, “get it out of my head”, smash smash.. then…. teamwork as Mildred uses her blood to charge the sigil which binds the banshee. Banshee gets ganked by Marlene, and scene.

Takeaways

There are a few things that were revealed/alluded to in this episode that bear closer examination.

  • Dean is increasingly drawn to Amara, not unlike the call of the Mark of Cain from last season. He’s gonna bounce soon. Probably in time for the cliffhanger season finale.
  • Casifer is fishing for ways to deal with Amara. Not because he is true to his word, but because if she destroys everything, that will include him. Casifer will use Dean somehow to draw out Amara.
  • There are now 3 legacy Men of Letters. I bet there are talks about a spinoff regarding the MoL, or at least they’re testing the waters.
  • Only you can prevent forest fires, so stop starting forest fires.
  • This joke (below)
supernatural dean winchester

Nicely done, Dean.

I really liked this episode, from the dick joke, to the deaf hunter, to sweet ass Mildred, to Casifer. It worked the way it should. No Crowley, Rowena, Angels, Heaven, any of that tired old noise. Just the brothers fighting monsters. And Casifer doing his thing. Good times. Can’t wait for next week.

Supernatural Returns This Week

supernatural cw winchesters season 11 january 2016

“I got a Sam!”

The Wait Is Over

Sam Vs Lucifer: Cage Match

Thank Christ the long wait is over. We’ve been without (many) good shows since mid December, and no tv and no sex make Mark something something. Aya Cash (Gretchen from You’re The Worst) gave me a list of shows to watch in the meantime, but I am glad my shows are coming back.

Supernatural is coming this Wednesday January 20th, and will (hopefully) let us know what happened once Sammy got in the Cage with Lucifer. I predict happiness and good things. I”m usually right about these things. We already know that Bobby is making a return this season, so things are definitely looking good for the rest of Season 11.

Supernatural dropped a hilarious promo for their return. Crowley and his (hot) mom opening presents around the tree. Adorable. “I got a Sam!”  says lil’ Crowley to the milfy red-nosed Rowena.

I love that this show is funny, and doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s what makes the show worth watching for 11 seasons. Thanks Ben Edlund for instilling humor in the franchise.

I imagine Mighty Dale will write a nice review of the new episode, so keep your eyes open for that. Are you going to watch?

Mighty Dale Behaves Oddly After Too Much Revelry

party time booze and blow

Unremembered Drinking Bodes Not Well

Dale apparently crafts items for gnomes when drunk

Dale apparently crafts items for gnomes when drunk

The handiwork of a skilled artisan.

The handiwork of a skilled artisan.

Dale Went Off The Rails

Crafted Tools For The Wee Folk

I was texting with Mighty Dale, as I do, and as we were discussing current events, he texted this non sequitur (seen above):

uh oh

The top of the Jameson bottle is off and there is lots missing

It seems that after his traditional Friday night revelries, Mighty Dale decided to keep the party going once he got home. My tastes in revelry differ from Dale’s, as I lean more towards the wonders of legal weed. Dale loves the sweet sweet whiskey. To each his own.

What makes this interesting is the assortment of little knick knacks and gadgets drunk Dale crafted, out of duct tape, while wasted. Even when three sheets to the wind, our Dale is always creating, and that is… an Artist.

Marijuana is Legal Here

I Live In Oregon

Weed is Sold in Stores

 

Last night Dale and I were texting, as we do, and he said he was bored. I had just smoked some high THC sativa (Durban Poison to be precise), and I had lots of ideas with which Dale could occupy himself. 

He did none of these things. Wise choice.