Last evening, upon returning from Friday mass, I was moved to pray for the fine people our great nation.
Not really. I got home super late last night, and it being Friday, I decided, “Fuck it. I’m going to insanely high anyway.” So I did, and it’s legal here, so I’m not only a hero, I’m a great citizen.
So, a candy, a crazy potent brownie… (I’m not kidding. 500 mg THC brownie the size of 2/3 of a credit card. I have been nibbling it like a little mouse all week), a couple bowls of Animal Crackers weed (see the weekly review), AND infinite hits of the vape pen later (no half measures for this man)… I was super high.
I was so high that I decided to get on YouTube and watch/listen to old Fleetwood Mac songs. Old ones, from when they were a hard blues band, all the way to the fluff of the Rumours era. It was lovely. I dozed, I floated. I lucid dreamed Stevie Nicks vs the Green Manalishi… it was lovely. THEN the above video played (the blessing/curse of autoplay) and I was ripped from revery, and faced with this guy.
Ok. Watch this video while you read this. This guy is so amazingly information rich…. it’s like Finnegan’s Wake on drums. Here’s why.
- His drum setup is insane. Look at all the cymbals.
- His drums seem wedged between a built in china cabinet and… another built in china cabinet?
- I don’t know how, but I am sure that his mom is no more than 10 feet away
- Little Lies? You’re going to live drum to an 80’s pop song from Fleetwood Mac? That’s your showpiece?
- He’s not great
- He’s not terrible
- He has shared this with the world.
- Half a million people have watched this
- Despite half a million in the audience, our man is obviously very alone (mom doesn’t count)
- We have only been able to share videos of ourselves doing shit like this for a few years. This is a new phenomenon.
- Sociology. This is. Read Bowling Alone.
Marvin Fleer, you are the shining exemplar of this day and age. You are the zeitgeist. Go forth and drum forever.
Dale and I collaborate on our posts (which are now written on Movie Pilot, go there and look for us), and I use legal cannabis to help with creativity. Also I’m usually gaming while Dale is writing, so… it goes hand in hand.
This text fragment is a peek into the creative process. What is art? What is life? What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me.
Orson Welles created a movie about art forgery, and deception, called F for Fake. It was about famous art forger Elmyr, and Clifford Irving, who forged Howard Hughes’ diaries, and will.
Surrealist icon Dali drew a penis on his wife’s forehead, signing it Picasso.
Andy Warhol would sign dollar bills and soup cans, giving admirers a “signed Warhol”.
What is art? What is truth? Where is my lighter?
Slim Pickins Until Late January
December is a TV Graveyard
There is no hope. You know it. I know it. Mighty Dale knows it. The only force moving my fingers on this keyboard is duty. I must use my remaining strength to leave a message to those that follow, those who have the fortitude to last until late January for shows like:
- The Walking Dead
- The Flash
It Gets Worse
The shows above have abandoned us, but they will return, like Papa after a long bender. They’ll be back with fried chicken and a movie from Redbox. Some, however, are like mama. They just left with only a nicotine stained kiss that you barely remember, because you were asleep. Here are the fuckers who just bailed.
- You’re The Worst – Season 2 is over.
- South Park – Season 19 is over.
Sunbeams are just God pissing on us all
The most despicable of all teasing whores is yet to come. Game of Thrones, that hot girl who lived with you for a few weeks last year, and was the filthiest, sluttiest, dirty talkingest chick in the whole world. Where every night was a threesome with her even hotter friend? Yeah. Then she bounced with your Xbox and your brother’s ashes…. yeah. That’s Game of Thrones. That bitch will be back in April. Right after you can look yourself in the mirror again and say that it’s gonna be ok. She’ll be back and she’ll pierce your dick with her vampire fangs, and you’ll love it.
I know there’s one episode of Z Nation left, but that’s like having one beer in the fridge. Ash vs Evil Dead can’t do it alone, even though it’s great. It’s only half an hour long, and once a week. That’s like …. I can’t even come up with a simile. It’s not enough. It just isn’t. I’m going to start listening to Adele I guess. Fuck it.
Might as well just watch NCIS, or JAG, or … shit I don’t know. Cooking shows, I guess. There’s a shit load of them. That big headed chick with the tits is hot… I guess…. I’m going to lay down for a awhile. Wake me next month.
The newspaper and fish bowl make it.
Minifigs From My Friend
My friend Adam came home today and just handed these to me. “Merry Christmas!” he said. I was elated. Not just at the surprise gifts, but at the details.
I am an old Gen X dude. I remember the Simpsons when they were fucking funny. Yes. Back in my day. I know. It’s a perfectly cromulent word.
This was my profile pic on Facebook for awhile.
Old Man Yells At Cloud
Abe Simpson holds a newspaper that says, ‘Old Man Yells At Cloud’ with his picture. Brilliant. The faces are super perfectly detailed. I am not a Lego person, being an adult male, but these are cool as hell.
Three Eyed Fish & Plutonium Rod
Mr. Burns is another winner. The little fishbowl is so tiny yet so detailed. Mighty Dale lost his shit when I sent him the pic of my prizes. Apparently they hold some appeal to people. It’s ok. They’re not going anywhere.
They have become… precious… to me.
Lara Croft: Rise Of The Tomb Raider
Sometimes I Drive Dale Mad.
The Candy Is A Lie
Dale and I are chums, and as good chums do, Dale and I text often. In this case Dale was playing the new Tomb Raider, about which we have already written.
Dale is understandably wary of descending into a cave because as he wrote, the mercenaries that preceded him are getting massacred. Being a supportive friend, I postulate that perhaps there is candy in the cave.
It gives him the incentive to carry on and sally forth to his
certain doom sure delight. Then, because I am sometimes a dick, I just run with the whole candy thing. Why? Because the all caps rage induced outburst that follows made me laugh.
In any case this shall serve as a placeholder until mighty Dale finishes the game and can pronounce his judgement for one and all, to hear and obey.
The Wisdom of Mighty Dale
The Star Wars Racism Argument Is Baloney
“Can you really blame them, guys? I think I speak for every white male when I say I wouldn’t want my daughter breeding with a stormtrooper, either. Can stormtroopers even get women pregnant? They can’t hit anything else for shit.”
Words from Mighty Dale to soothe an angry nation.