Poor Dale Had To Endure Dentistry
The Day Before Christmas Eve
He Was… Mighty
Mighty Dale Upon Hearing He Had A Dentist Appointment
Everything Dale Does Is Epic
Including Quailing At The Thought Of The Evil Dentist Scraping and Drilling His Teeth
Mighty Dale is with is family for the holidays, so he is incommunicado, even though he saw Star Wars on zero day, and was supposed to write a post about it.. no worries. No bitterness. Things happen. Of course, nothing happened but he just flaked because his process was disturbed by guests. Whatever. Thank you, baby Jesus, for Dale’s terror. It helped.
He was ambushed with the appointment by his mother, an expert in such matters. He was already home, in his place of weakest power. What choice did he have but to submit to the torment of the evil pokey drilly things.
As this text record shows, I was his rock throughout.
GLOSSARY: Dale and I have a sort of shorthand we speak, like twins.
Penus – Might, force, strength. Raw power
Hockey – A more specifically focused power.
Both of these forces are portioned back and forth to whichever of us needs it at the moment.
He needed fillings
Dale is big on drama
this is why I gave you the glossary
See? It’s not so bad
Gerard Butler has nice teeth, because he goes to the dentist.
Lara Croft: Rise Of The Tomb Raider
Sometimes I Drive Dale Mad.
The Candy Is A Lie
Dale and I are chums, and as good chums do, Dale and I text often. In this case Dale was playing the new Tomb Raider, about which we have already written.
Dale is understandably wary of descending into a cave because as he wrote, the mercenaries that preceded him are getting massacred. Being a supportive friend, I postulate that perhaps there is candy in the cave.
It gives him the incentive to carry on and sally forth to his
certain doom sure delight. Then, because I am sometimes a dick, I just run with the whole candy thing. Why? Because the all caps rage induced outburst that follows made me laugh.
In any case this shall serve as a placeholder until mighty Dale finishes the game and can pronounce his judgement for one and all, to hear and obey.
Kate is Mark’s ex so that was awkward
Have you watched You’re The Worst? It’s hilarious. Do it.
Bruce Campbell. He’s awesome
Hail to the chief, baby
Mark: I don’t give a fuck, dipping your fries in your [milk]shake is awful, and inhuman. Hang your head(s) in shame. Do something awesome like heroin instead [Don’t do heroin kids. It’s bad because it’s so awesome].
Dale: Mark enjoys
Mark: I do. That last one was me. I was gonna tweet it but [the] last time I was myself on Twitter, people contacted [my ex] and asked if I was ok.
Dale: You’re just a special fellow, friend.
Mark: I know. I am just shy of being a talent, so I’m a …. special fellow.
Dale: No, friend. You are not a talent. You are a treasure. [Awww, Dale. You’re so nice]
Mark: Awwww, that’s so nice, it makes me want heroin. 🙂 [Mark deals with praise by deflecting]
Dale: Yes. I rematch the Craig/Tweek [Yaoi] South Park episode. It makes me all fuzzy. Soon I’ll return to You’re the Worst [The Mark was watching during this conversation] and become a scumbag again.
Mark: Lovely. I just scratched my back with a fork. I will watch another episode. [Always a gentleman]
Dale: I use my Halloween Wolverine claws for my back [Do not forget that humans are domesticated apes]. Tonight. Fargo. Bruce Campbell as President Reagan.
Mark: No. Way.
Dale: Yes, friend. Soon I will watch.