Ash vs Evil Dead: Honey, I’m Home

ash vs evil dead at the cabin

“Honey, I’m home.”

Ash Returns To The Cabin

Not Alone

Ash Vs Evil Dead Stays Awesome

In episode 8 of season 1, our beloved Ash makes the return to the cabin where it all began. As you recall he ditched his crew after getting out the survivalist camp, fearing for their lives. Amanda followed him so he at least has backup. Ash attempts to dissuade her from helping, telling her, “Dontcha get it? Everybody dies here. It’s just a rule. Death. Taxes. More death. And I don’t pay taxes so all I know is death.”

Ash vs Evil Dead keeps being awesome. That’s why we write about it.

Evil Dead Redux

Lots of Callbacks to the Evil Dead Movies

There’s no way to make this episode without comparison with the original Evil Dead movies. The show embraces that, making numerous references to the movies without being hamfisted. This episode felt like an extension of the movies, more than any other episode so far. Of course the cabin is a huge part of it, but the whole vibe, framing, and pacing match Sam Ramie’s films in a very accurate manner. It pulls you in wonderfully.

ash linda tool shed evil dead skull

“Long time no see, Linda. Don’t get up.”

Brutal Brutal Brutal

This episode is the most brutal yet, in many ways (it’s no diner fight). Poor Linda (played by what I assume is a New Zealander with a passable American accent) gets it again, and not the she wanted (dirty girl).
In a very Scooby Doo way Pablo and Kelly meet up with more New Zealand people in the woods. I get it. The show films in New Zealand so why hire Americans to fill bit part, when you can hire local. They were totally good. Kelly cockblocks Pablo. I guess she has feelings after all. Luck guy, Pablo. Now seal the deal. Kelly’s sexy as hell and I love her voice.

RIP Amanda

There’s lots of visceral mayhem. Ash and Linda. Evil Ash and Amanda, Evil Ash and Ash… it’s crazy. I guess I’m getting “brutal”  particularly from the manner in which Evil Ash murders Amanda. It’s rough, but also hilarious because of what he says in the image below. Perfect delivery. Right when you’re gutshot at Amanda’s violent end, Bruce Campbell delivers a zinger that’s already on a t-shirt somewhere, I’m sure.

ash vs evil dead amanda death

“Now that’s what I call cleavage.”

Kelly and Pablo To The Rescue

After Amanda eats it, Kelly and Pablo show up, only to see Good Ash with recently deceased Amanda. Words are spoken then Ash and Evil Ash have it out in a fight straight out of Mel Brooks. Two words. Soft balls.
We end with a cliffhanger, and one less hero on the team. I hope no one else dies this season. I’ve grown attached to Pablo and Kelly.
This show is fucking great, and it’s about the only thing that is, in this television wasteland.

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Gaze Into The Abyss – No Good TV Until January

december sucks for tv

Slim Pickins Until Late January

December is a TV Graveyard

There is no hope. You know it. I know it. Mighty Dale knows it. The only force moving my fingers on this keyboard is duty. I must use my remaining strength to leave a message to those that follow, those who have the fortitude to last until late January for shows like:

    • Supernatural
    • The Walking Dead
    • The Flash
    • Arrow

It Gets Worse

The shows above have abandoned us, but they will return, like Papa after a long bender. They’ll be back with fried chicken and a movie from Redbox. Some, however, are like mama. They just left with only a nicotine stained kiss that you barely remember, because you were asleep. Here are the fuckers who just bailed.

    • You’re The Worst – Season 2 is over.
    • South Park – Season 19 is over.

Sunbeams are just God pissing on us all

The most despicable of all teasing whores is yet to come. Game of Thrones, that hot girl who lived with you for a few weeks last year, and  was the filthiest, sluttiest, dirty talkingest chick in the whole world. Where every night was a threesome with her even hotter friend? Yeah. Then she bounced with your Xbox and your brother’s ashes…. yeah. That’s Game of Thrones. That bitch will be back in April. Right after you can look yourself in the mirror again and say that it’s gonna be ok. She’ll be back and she’ll pierce your dick with her vampire fangs, and you’ll love it.

I know there’s one episode of Z Nation left, but that’s like having one beer in the fridge. Ash vs Evil Dead can’t do it alone, even though it’s great. It’s only half an hour long, and once a week. That’s like …. I can’t even come up with a simile. It’s not enough. It just isn’t. I’m going to start listening to Adele I guess. Fuck it.

Might as well just watch NCIS, or JAG, or … shit I don’t know. Cooking shows, I guess. There’s a shit load of them. That big headed chick with the tits is hot… I guess…. I’m going to lay down for a awhile. Wake me next month.

Z Nation Hits its Stride

z nation twitter

Season 2 Is Fun

SyFy Starts Getting it Right

I watched Z Nation mainly because I love zombies, like millions of other folk.  The first season was … just terrible. It tried to be somber and serious with “I give you mercy” and the like. Things like killing zombies with the Liberty Bell seemed stupid, rather than purposely cheesy, because of the incongruity with the serious tone.

When they repeated the joke with a giant cheese wheel, in season two, it worked. See?

zombies rolling cheese wheel

That’s just ridiculous, but now that’s the point.

No more. Season 2 dumped all the pretense of seriousness, and just went the Evil Dead route. That was the best decision they could have made. SyFy typically churns out utter crap. They’re the Little Debbie of networks. That’s ok. Nutty Bars are fucking awesome, but they’re made to be eaten alone, in one’s room, all at once, in one marathon of self harm and loathing.

Z Nation is junk food but they embrace it. That makes it so much better. I enjoy it now. I laugh at the absurdity, and it’s obvious that the show does as well. That goes a long way toward making a show enjoyable to watch.

Season Finale Next Week

I really enjoyed last night’s episode (the penultimate for this season). It was everyone’s “origin” story. Nice, short, and to the point. I liked it. Doc’s was (of course) silly, but showed his native altruism. Addy kills her hockey team’s best forward (that was great), and everyone else pretty much is what you expect. The best one, imo, was Citizen Z. He’s in prison for an Edward Snowden kind of whistleblower/hacker thing, and the NSA offers him a deal.
citizen z nation

Screen Shot 2015-12-12 at 1.16.09 AM

Zombies. It’s as simple as that. Z Nation. Z is for Zombies.

I Do Not Fear The Walking Dead

fear-the-walking-dead-cci-poster-1200x707

Don’t Fear The Reaper

Alright guys, let’s discuss AMC’s Fear the Walking Dead. It’s amazing to me that AMC has somehow managed to squeeze more juice out of the Walking Dead franchise, what with the show itself. Talking Dead and numerous video games I figured that this franchise had been squeezed dry, I was wrong. Fear is a prequel to The Walking Dead featuring less interesting people, a less interesting location and annoying kids. Despite the fact that the premise is interesting enough and many people would like to see how the zombie apocalypse began this show just doesn’t have any life to it.

The two leads are relatable enough. Kim Dickens as Madison, and Cliff Curtis as Travis are fine actors, but the characters are forgettable. So is the show. It’s so forgettable that I had to look up their character names on Wikipedia.

This show makes for decent Sunday night television, but pales in comparison to other AMC properties like Hell on Wheels and The Walking Dead. What is it with AMC and really really annoying kids? Between Carl in Walking Dead,  and the kids in Fear, the apocalypse may just be a blessing.

Think Of The Children

There are three kids in Fear.  Nick, Madison’s son, who is a college dropout and junkie because of course he is.  Alicia, Madison’s model student daughter who also proves herself to be a snooty, snarky, eye rolling little twat, who’s only interesting quality is that they stuck her in an interracial relationship. GASP! Nice try AMC, and last, least and everything else in between, Travis’s son Christopher, Christopher naturally resents his dad because ya know, that’s what TV/movie kids do.

Location Location Location

One of the biggest issues with this show is simply the location.  Los Angeles is as sterile and devoid of life as an abortion clinic, and it’s OVERDONE. People should be banned from making films and shows that take place in LA. That place has zero personality. it’s like God held the US by the East Coast, gave it a good shake and all the people who aren’t self absorbed assholes managed to hang on.

Think about it.  Entourage, garbage. I don’t care what you say, Entourage was garbage. True Detective season 2, garbage.  Now this, not quite garbage, but would have been much much better with a better location.

Guys, I ain’t telling you not to watch Fear, if you love The Walking Dead you might want to try it, but if not, you might want to skip this one, after all, Rick and Morty is on on Sunday night too and you wouldn’t want to miss that

……….would you?

Would You???

Would You???

Arrow: Season 4 Big Reveal

Seriously what the fuck am I looking at?

Seriously what the fuck am I looking at?

Diggle Giggle

Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news has dropped straight from the set of the hit CW show Arrow. The hit adaptation of the DC comic’s hero and Justice League member Green Arrow has recently revealed a new photo, which shows Oliver’s partner, sidekick, and confidante John Diggle finally suiting up and donning the mantle of………………….Magneto?

That’s right, kids. Diggle is suiting up, and by suiting up I mean something between a leather daddy, and (Power) Top Gear.

The World’s First Analrapist

(Not So) Secret Identity

Now what baffles me is why would Diggle suit up now?  He’s two years into his vigilantism, and NOW he wants to hide his identity? Everybody knows you already. Do you think the League of Assassin’s are going to go, “Whatever happened to that Diggle guy?” and the new Ra’s will simply say, “Disappeared, but  another tall, buff, black guy appeared right after, hanging around Team Arrow.”

Now don’t get me wrong here, friends, I’m not bashing the guy.  I’m as big a Diggle fan as the next guy, but slapping a helmet on on him that:

A. looks like Magneto’s and

B. it barely covers his face

It’s stupid, cheap, and cheesy. You can do better, Arrow costume department.  Look at what The Flash has done. They’ve created a functional suit that looks great, is true to the source material, but still original.

Diggle’s suit looks like the losing outfit on Project Runway.

I hope Arrow can recapture the magic of season 2.  It’s more important than ever after such a weak 3rd season,  which had so many low points it’s hard to list them all (but I’ll name the ones that irk me the most)

Mighty Dale Judges Season 3

Olicity. Just typing that word made me dry heave a little. Then the fact that the show runners basically took the Bruce Wayne story, slapped the name Oliver Queen on it, and sold it as a unique idea. That’s cheaper than Diggle’s goddamn suit.  Oliver and Felicity driving a porsche off into the sunset was garbage, and it should have been left on the cutting room floor. It’s so ridiculous and so cheesy I had to burst out with laughter.  The convertible, the smiles, the blonde hair, the sunset, the end of season one had the glades blowing up and Oliver more or less failing to save the day, season 2 had the amazing Slade Wilson finally put away in an A.R.G.U.S. facility, and season 3, well, I had to check to make sure I wasn’t watching an episode of Beverly Hills 90210.

CW, stop diluting cool shows with tween romance shit, in order to skew to a younger demo. It’s like adding whipped cream to scotch.

please tell me the car's going to blow up, please tell me the car's going to blow up, wait it's not going to blow up?!?!?!?!

please tell me the car’s going to blow up, please tell me the car’s going to blow up, wait it’s not going to blow up?!?!?!?!

Guys and girls, I don’t know if Season 4 can fight it’s way back, but I sure hope it does, this is a show that has had some real highs, and it’s taken the viewer on some great adventures. Lets all hope we get a great 4th season…………starring Magneto, and if not, heres to Legends of Tomorrow. Welcome back Sara Lance, we’ve missed you.