Tomb Raider Update: There Is No Candy

Lara Croft: Rise Of The Tomb Raider

Midgame Update

video game reviews humorous

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Sometimes I Drive Dale Mad.

The Candy Is A Lie

Dale and I are chums, and as good chums do, Dale and I text often. In this case Dale was playing the new Tomb Raider, about which we have already written.

Dale is understandably wary of descending into a cave because as he wrote, the mercenaries that preceded him are getting massacred. Being a supportive friend, I postulate that perhaps there is candy in the cave.

It gives him the incentive to carry on and sally forth to his certain doom sure delight. Then, because I am sometimes a dick, I just run with the whole candy thing. Why? Because the all caps rage induced outburst that follows made me laugh.

In any case this shall serve as a placeholder until mighty Dale finishes the game and can pronounce his judgement for one and all, to hear and obey.

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Rise Of The Tomb Raider – Day One First Glance


texts mark and dale lara croft tomb raider new release video game first look rise of the tomb raider

The New Lara Croft

vs The Ancient Order Of Dicks

This game is excellent. Dale will do his usual thorough write up once he finishes, but this is a good sense of how it felt upon first taste.

The links below have some game footage that is just beautiful. Again, this isn’t the review, just the first impressions.

A Watery Grave Narrowly Avoided

https://account.xbox.com/en-US/gameclip/bbb433ec-28b0-42c7-813d-eaba6d7b9ae7?gamertag=robochrist2000&scid=80f60100-215b-4f08-8c68-2b353e5e3f4b

Mountains. Ice. Awesomeness

https://account.xbox.com/en-US/gameclip/b0579fc3-cf4a-4f90-8d01-8df5899e7bb9?gamertag=robochrist2000&scid=80f60100-215b-4f08-8c68-2b353e5e3f4b

AVALANCHE

https://account.xbox.com/en-US/gameclip/b0579fc3-cf4a-4f90-8d01-8df5899e7bb9?gamertag=robochrist2000&scid=80f60100-215b-4f08-8c68-2b353e5e3f4b

It’s like playing an Indiana Jones movie. It’s that good.