Arrow: A.W.O.L/Unchained

aka Wheels and the Legman

Arrow Episode Review

AWOL and Unchained

I was quite sick last week I didn’t get around to watching A.W.O.L until tonight, so we’re getting a 2 in one review. A.W.O.L and Unchained, so let’s get into it. Hopefully you’ve read my Arrow reviews before, so you know how I do this.

Rear Window meets Fight Club

A.W.O.L.

This episode was the first time we got to see Felicity’s new role in the crew, not that it has  changed that much, but she is certainly in a different head space at the start of this episode. She is understandably upset about her paralysis. She’s been confronted with the rest of her life. Where it once contained so much promise, she’s been confined to a chair with wheels. At least that’s how Felicity feels. She’s not really in a ‘glass half full’ place this episode.

She actually started to hallucinate and go a bit stir crazy. She’s even managed to manifest her own Tyler Durden, in the form of Goth Felicity. She constantly bugs Felicity about her situation, her blonde hair, and her glasses. Fuck off goth Felicity. You’re not interesting and you’re annoying. A fuck off double whammy.

So Felicity is having a personality crisis and it’s showing in her hacker performance, luckily, this was one of the more interesting arcs of the episode. She slipped and someone almost bought it.

No, Goth Felicity!!! You’re not welcome here, I CAST YOU OUT, UNCLEAN SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!!

Brothers

So this brings me to the next point. The Andy/Diggle brother arc seems to have come to a conclusion in this episode. Andy finally came around and patched things up with Diggle, as they come together at the end to go up against Shadowspire. This storyline has been brewing for a long time during this season and it seemed like Diggle was slamming himself up against a brick wall, and couldn’t reach Andy no matter what he said.

In this episode it seems like he had chipped away enough to finally make a hole and get through to Andy. We also moved away from the Oliver flashbacks in this episode, and shed a little light on Diggle and Andy’s past.

Bring me a burger and i’ll come around no problem

I enjoyed Diggle’s selective memory when it comes to his brother. He convinced Andy to enlist in order to get his little brother on the straight and narrow, but some men just aren’t meant t0 walk the righteous path. As soon as Andy arrives in camp he falls in with a bad crowd in order to make a little extra scratch on the side.  Diggle wanted his brother to straighten out, so that’s exactly what he saw.

This brings us to the big conflict of the episode, Team Arrow vs Shadowspire.  Shadowspire’s bread and butter is misdirection, as stated by former member Andy Diggle. Guess what?

Whoops

Shadowspire makes Team Arrow believe that they are after a shipment of rail guns, so we get Oliver, Thea and Laurel waiting at the truck depot for Shadowspire.   When they don’t show our heroes know something is wrong. Upon this realization Shadowspire takes over an A.R.G.U.S base and holds Amanda Waller, and Lila Diggle, at gunpoint looking for something called Rubicon, which is some nasty bullshit. [Mighty Dale falters] I don’t know, I didn’t pay attention at this part, fucking sue me, sadly this resulted in the death of Amanda Waller.

That kind of sucks since Waller is such a huge part of the DC/Suicide Squad universe. It was nice having her around, and she was cold as goddamn ice, which was awesome. She was willing to watch everybody in that room get shot in the face before giving up Rubicon.

So, after learning of the A.R.G.U.S situation via a panic button, the Diggle brothers (that would make a sick 70’s band name. The Diggle Brothers Band) concoct an elaborate plan where Andy pretends to be returning to Shadowspire, and brings John in as a fake hostage (the ol’ Chewie prisoner trick).

“Tonight on Top Prick”

Oliver, Thea and Laurel arrive to get into the fight, which brings us to Arrow’s douchiest line this season. Oliver gets on his communicator and calls Felicity, who is back to her keyboard crunching self, Overwatch. This is fine except she’s confused about the name and Oliver says, “I thought it was about time you got a code name what do you think?”, to which Felicity responds, “It’s perfect.”  Oliver responds, “I was going to go with Oracle but it was taken.” wink wink nod nod puke. FUCK……….YOU, Oliver Queen., Fuck you 10 ways from Sunday. Stop making Batman references!  It’s not cute. They’re not funny little references for the DC fandom. It’s annoying, and every time you do that it makes me want Batman more.

Right here, Oliver.

Unchained

So let’s move on to Unchained, Unchained was actually quite a good episode and saw the return of a few familiar faces, so let’s… hit the ground running.

Unchained really didn’t stand out that much, and if it weren’t for the interesting returns of some great characters, it wouldn’t have been anything to write home about. It did have some great action and obviously as I’ve mentioned, the returns of Nyssa Al Ghul, Roy Harper and Katana, it also boasted some great action sequences, finally.

This episode saw the return of Roy Harper (not this Roy Harper) albeit a brainwashed Roy Harper.  He was being controlled via a contact lens in his eye. He was trying to steal parts from Palmer Tech in order to build a big tech bomb that would basically destroy the internet, and erase everything.  Who was controlling him was the big mystery in this episode. It was a new villain known as The Calculator, a genius level hacker to rival even Felicity Smoak. blah blah blah, this wasn’t very interesting at all.

Where this episode shined was in the emotional aspect of a character like Roy being returned to the fold, albeit all too briefly. His reunion with the crew was interesting, especially since at the beginning of the episode, he started off as a Team Arrow adversary.

Obviously his reunion with Thea was going to be a huge moment.  These two are set up to be the loves of each other’s lives, and it was unfortunate to see them have to part ways, when they would clearly rather spend the rest of their lives together. I

also thought it was hilarious how Roy left his Red Arrow suit for Thea after his first departure.  I assume Team Arrow took Roy’s suit, stitched it up to fit the tiny Thea and redesigned it. Somehow,  when Roy puts it on it reverts to the original design and somehow still fits him. SCIENCE. But whatever, TV logic I guess. I can look past it.

Since when did superhero suit = fetish night?

Nyssa vs Katana

We also got some fantastic action in this episode. Nyssa’s escape was great, but the fight between Nyssa and Katana was incredible. Sadly it didn’t last too long, but the choreography was excellent, and felt like we were watching 2 highly skilled fighters. Plus, it’s always nice seeing both Nyssa and Katana, but Nyssa had to get to Star City to serve a bigger purpose. She holds the Lotus, a mystery cure for Thea’s blood lust. Because apparently Oliver can’t call John Constantine again. It always makes me giggle about how once characters leave the show it’s like they don’t exist.

It’s always awesome seeing two strong females back in the mix and get some killer action scenes. The TV and movie world can never have enough tough chicks.

Sadly it felt like this episode simply existed to lead up to the big reveal that Calculator is Felicity’s dad. This  was actually no reveal at all considering this had been predicted on the internet long before the show revealed it.

So overall, Roy, Nyssa and Katana came back and Felicity has daddy issues. That’s basically the whole episode. We’ll see you guys next week.

The Flash: Fast Lane

 

Barry running away from yucky girls like Patty.

Wally World

& Harrison Wells Learns Non Binary Thought

The Flash came in with a solid episode on Tuesday night. There was a bit of  filler, but for the most part it was good.  Let’s get into it. Tuesday’s episode (Fast Lane) had a lot of moving parts, but easily the most interesting was the internal struggle of Harrison Wells. Even more interesting was having Tom Cavanaugh convey that struggle using the Kristen Stewart method.

Tom Cavanugh’s acting coach.

Harrison Wells from Earth 2 has proven to be one of the more complex characters on this show. He continually shows himself to be slightly different than the Wells/Thawne from season 1. That’s not to say this Wells isn’t capable of treachery and villainy, but you can really see how it eats him up inside. [Mark says that Tom Cavanaugh’s wooden acting does nothing to convey this conflict. It’s done all with lighting, music, and the words that TomBot flatly intones]  Using Wells’ daughter as the motivator humanizes Wells greatly. Who wouldn’t do anything to save their kid?   Such is the case with Wells trying to steal Barry’s speed for Zoom, to get his daughter back.

I had a feeling that Wells would have a change of heart about stealing Barry’s speed, but I had no idea it would be so immediate. Seeing Wells come clean so quickly was an excellent way to highlight the differences between Earth 2 Wells and season 1 Wells. This Wells immediately knew he had made a bad decision and was remorseful, and after stealing only 2% of Barry’s speed. I imagine Zoom’s demand for all of Barry’s speed led him to think that he may not get his daughter back, no matter how much he helps Zoom.

Westworld

The West family drama continued in this episode with Iris getting all gussied up to go to the street races, and see Wally do what he does, which is street racing. This resulted in a weird story where she goes after the man who’s been organizing the races, in order to bring an end to this dangerous sport. This seemed like a PSA to me, like when shows do an episode about recycling for Earth Day.

There’s a car hurtling toward you, ma’am. You look lovely but you should move.

Heart Of Glass

This wasn’t my favorite story line  but it is always nice to see Iris be a main part of the story. She is one of the characters that always seems to be on the sidelines, so it’s nice to see her front and center. They’re focusing on her reporter gig again. This is where she is comfortable, going after the bad guys in the paper.

One weak point this week was the villain. Tar Pit was overall just weak.  Plus, who the fuck gestates for two years in molten asphalt, then emerges with powers? That’s just dumb. Really dumb. Even for the Flash, and this is counting the super gorilla and the bidpedal shark.

We’ve seen these kind of motivations from super villains before. He was wronged on the night of the particle accelerator explosion, and after gaining powers (in the most implausible way yet), set out for revenge against those who wronged him. Pretty simple. Sadly, I don’t dig any villain that is stopped by a gadget and a punch to the face from Joe. These types of villains are becoming commonplace.

Zoom?

The biggest problem with these 20 something episode seasons is that there is not enough story to fill the whole thing up, so a lot of filler is needed. Unfortunately it’s become too much in the second half of this season. We’ve had so few arc episodes that it’s becoming frustrating. We need WAY more forward momentum on the Zoom front. We got a glimpse of Zoom but not enough.

“Had enough?”
“Not even close”

Papa Joe

One thing that did work was Joe busting Wally for pretending to be some street racing badass, when deep down he is actually a good kid. After Iris is injured, in a really good scene highlighting how that 2% that Flash is missing matters, Wally opens up and lets his new family in.  There was no ay they were going to kill off Iris. No way in hell, but injuring her in order to bring the West family together, and tighten the familial bond? Hell yes.

Overall this was a decent episode, but it’s next weeks episode that looks great. The gang take a trip to Earth 2 where we’re going to see some interesting versions of our favorite characters, including Caitlyn Snow’s alter ego Killer Frost, and the return of Robbie Amell as the evil version of Firestorm, Deathstorm. Next week looks wonderful, especially the scene of Cisco and Barry taking an Earth 2 selfie. Not even interdimensional travel can stop guys from acting like idiots around their buddies.

See you next week when we have more Flash to flesh out.

Supernatural – Golden Girls And Dick Jokes

Let’s get that poncho off and start oiling the old glove.

Supernatural Review

Into The Mystic

Mildred. Her name was Mildred. She was a sunny, sexy, senior in Oak Park Retirement Home. Although her name implies that she is a Confederate widow of dour countenance, she is actually pretty and sparkly, and totally doable. Ah, Mildred. Dean should have given you the old Blanche Deveraux (which is 2 parts Blanche DuBois to 1 part Vivian Vance). That may not make sense, but neither does Supernatural. If you get anywhere near it with a critical eye, you immediately start bashing your head against the wall, like the victims in tonight’s episode </segue> which is entitled “Into The Mystic” because, fuck it… Van Morrison is Irish, kinda, and banshees are Irish, or Scottish… whatever. I digress.

Agent Osbourne tells a dick joke.

Agents Osbourne and Butler

The monster of this week is a Banshee. Check your Supernatural bingo card, and if you have Banshee, you win a nonexistent toaster (one winner per household. No habla Sumerian). The episode opens on the Irish moor of yore (30 years yore anyway), where we see a young father of a baby doting upon same.
Door opens mom comes home, happy family, dancing, laughing… banshee. Dad hears a terrible shrieking sound (no, not Metal Machine Music, although nice reference), loses his shit, bashes his head against the wall, while mom books it to the kitchen, where she earnestly gathers a bunch of things that will be used to banish the Banshee. Bansheegone. Banishes banshees beautifully. Buy some now.
Mom isn’t quick enough, Dad dies of self inflicted cranial trauma, and a scary floaty witchy specter appears, and starts consuming dad’s braaaaaaains. Mom finally gets all the shit for the spell, and proceeds to open her arm and bleed out, when all she needed to was slice her palm. Bad judgement in the heat of the moment. She somehow bleeds out in moments, even though that’s not what would happen in real… no no we don’t do that. Anyway, banshee is banished in a flash, dad’s dead and mom dies shortly thereafter. Baby cries, bereft of family. An orphan. And, scene.

30 Years Later

Sam is moping around the bunker, consumed with guilt over not trying to save Dean when he was trapped in Purgatory. Remember that with the vampire from the Bi-you?

Lucifer got in Sam’s head and Dean tries to distract Sam with a case. Luckily there’s one only 15 minutes away. Lucifer ex Machina, indeed.

So detectives Osbourne and Butler (Black Sabbath reference) go to the nicest old folks home in the world, to investigate a possible monster.

Upon arrival at the retirement home the boys upgrade the possible monster to definite banshee.

The victim (Harold) was in a locked room and bashed his own brains out, while screaming, “Get it out of my head!”

No, he wasn’t talking about Ice Ice Baby (although that’s now in your head). The sinister banshee emits a shriek that’s only heard by the intended victim. We learned this when the banshee took her next victim, the manager of the retirement home. He was speaking with the GMILF-y Mildred when he did the old, “Get it out of my head” bit before smashing through a window, and falling to his death. Mildred saw the banshee feed upon the brains of the decedent.  Banshee looks up and sees Mildred. Uh oh. Now we know who’s next.

Gotcha, Motherfucker (but not quite as distinct)

A Nice Choice

While investigating the death of Andrew (the second guy who died) Sam interviews Marlene, a maid who is deaf. Why does that matter? It doesn’t really, but it’s a cool direction for the show to take. Turns out (spoiler) she’s a hunter. In fact she’s the baby in the crib at the start of the show (from 30 years ago). The banshee made her deaf, but she was rescued by an Irish hunter, who raised her, and trained her in the ways of hunting. She’s down a major sense and she still kicks ass. Turns out (while chatting w/ Sam) that her late grandfather was a Man of Letters, which makes her a Legacy.  Very cool. Could they be setting up the groundwork for a spin off?

Now we have three hunters on the case. You may notice that Marlene is wielding a gold blade (she’s threatening Sam because she thought he and Dean were Banshees due to lip reading and context). That’s what kills banshees. In this scene Dean has popped back to the bunker to get some gold blades. While he’s there he runs into….

Oh Dean, Casifer is gonna use you to get Amara.

Casifer Rising

Castiel, who is possessed by Lucifer (we’ll call them Casifer), is at the Men of Letters bunker looking for clues on how to tackle the Darkness, because he obviously has no idea. I love Cas playing Lucifer playing Cas. I got bored with Castiel seasons ago, but this is great.

Dean confides to Casifer that he is drawn to Amara and the pull is getting stronger. Casifer files that tidbit away in his “Use this to screw Dean over” folder, and then we’re back to the banshee jamboree. As stays behind.

Dean is introduced to Marlene (it’s not her real name but I couldn’t quite hear it so Marlene it is) and then he, Marlene, and Sam work to protect Mildred from the impending Banshee. The girls objectify the boys in a way that if that tables were turned, all the SJWs on Tumblr would explode and coat the earth with self righteous slime. Anyhow, the girls think the boys are cute. Mildred openly comes on to Dean, who begs off. Why? Because he’s decent? No. Mildred susses it out. It’s because he’s SMITTEN with the DARKNESS. This is known as foreshadowing. It means you cast four shadows, like if you were on Tatooine (nerd rage in 3,2,1…)

The banshee comes but…. it’s Dean who is the target! Chaos, bleeding eyes, “get it out of my head”, smash smash.. then…. teamwork as Mildred uses her blood to charge the sigil which binds the banshee. Banshee gets ganked by Marlene, and scene.

Takeaways

There are a few things that were revealed/alluded to in this episode that bear closer examination.

• Dean is increasingly drawn to Amara, not unlike the call of the Mark of Cain from last season. He’s gonna bounce soon. Probably in time for the cliffhanger season finale.
• Casifer is fishing for ways to deal with Amara. Not because he is true to his word, but because if she destroys everything, that will include him. Casifer will use Dean somehow to draw out Amara.
• There are now 3 legacy Men of Letters. I bet there are talks about a spinoff regarding the MoL, or at least they’re testing the waters.
• Only you can prevent forest fires, so stop starting forest fires.
• This joke (below)

Nicely done, Dean.

I really liked this episode, from the dick joke, to the deaf hunter, to sweet ass Mildred, to Casifer. It worked the way it should. No Crowley, Rowena, Angels, Heaven, any of that tired old noise. Just the brothers fighting monsters. And Casifer doing his thing. Good times. Can’t wait for next week.

The Flash: The Reverse Flash Returns

“This is his origin story”

The Flash Review

Dale’s Take On This Week’s Episode

That’s right folks, Tuesday’s episode of The Flash brought the return of the dreaded Reverse Flash, Barry’s mortal enemy.  Was it a resounding success? Not necessarily, but it did strike some excellent notes, so lets talk about it.

Barry’s A Dick

Ok, so when we get into this episode we’re still in the midst of the devastating breakup between Barry, and Patty (who is perfect and pure). That further proves that Barry is so bad at lying that it often makes him look like kind of an asshole. Patty has basically told him to stop her from leaving Central City to attend CSI school. She spilled her heart about how much she wants to be with him, but he coldly rebuked her, in favor of the same tired lie.

Barry, I get it. You must protect the ones you love, don’t let the bad guys use them against you, blah blah blah blah. Watching him tell Patty that he isn’t the Flash in the face of her completely breaking down emotionally, and even after she’s figured it out on her own, was idiotic and frankly, cruel. For the first time since this show began I texted my friend, and co author Mark, with the simple phrase “Barry’s a dick.”

Barry has been one of the more charming characters in the CW’s DCU, it’s also a miracle that Barry has had relationships at all, considering he is comically bad at talking to women. Watching Patty break down in Barry’s lab was heart breaking, and that’s a testament to Shantel VanSanten’s talent as an actress and much much more than a pretty face (and everything else). She really sold that scene for me, so good job Shantel. You nailed it.

Which brings me to my next point. The end of this episode brought us to Patty leaving Central City. Shantel VanSanten has been a shining star in season 2 and it’s really a shame to see her go and hopefully she won’t be gone for too long. Patty Spivot/Shantel VanSanten, you will be missed. I suspect this is just a move to prolong the Ross/Rachel will they/won’t they tension. It’s cheap. Hackneyed, even.

I’ll date you Patty, I’ll wear ugly sweaters with you and tell you all my secrets, they aren’t very interesting but i’ll tell them to you

The Actual Plot

Moving on, the Reverse Flash’s return was bound to make some waves in Barry’s world. When it comes down to it, his return wasn’t a fast paced action thriller. It packed more of an emotional punch. 

Origin of the Reverse Flash

We got a good origin story for Reverse Flash, having now seen the moment when he discovers Barry’s identity, and how to hurt him.

Eobard Thawne was portrayed as being a childish person, who only dislikes Flash because he was obsessed with the Flash as a child and could not be him. So he instead decided to become the reverse of everything Flash stands for. Dumb, even for a comic book show.

Barry’s fight with Reverse Flash was truly badass. Barry beat the shit out of Eobard, and decisively defeated him, before bringing him back to Star Labs.

It really hit Barry in the gut when Flash had to let Reverse Flash go, in order to save Cisco. Barry finally capturing him and locking him up only to have to let him go back to his own time in order to fix the time line and save Cisco’s life… that’s going to eat at him. 

In releasing Reverse Flash, the man who killed Barry’s mother, we get a huge blow for Barry. It calks back to what Harrison Wells says in the video message to Barry. He will never be truly happy, which brings us back to the Patty situation. 

Barry loved and was loved. He was happy with Patty,and he let her go to continue to be Flash and protect her life.  

If it was Reverse Flash’s goal to ruin Barry and keep him from ever being happy, he’s won. Without using any powers he’s won.

Eobard + Barry sittin’ in a tree R-U-N-N-I-N-G

<

…and Meg

We had a few subplots in this episode. One involved Cisco, as he, and Harrison Wells, worked together to get Cisco’s vibes under control. That resulted in Cisco getting the Vibe goggles, controlling a vibe, and looking into the future.

Cisco haa taken a big step toward becoming Vibe. It was actually pretty damn cool, and will definitely help team Flash in the future.

 The other subplot was much less interesting. It was Caitlyn’s attempt to find Jay Garrick’s Earth 1 doppleganger, in order to use his cells to replace Jay’s dying cells. This resulted in a big bomb being dropped.  Jay’s Earth 1 doppleganger is not named Jay Garrick at all, but Hunter Zolomon, which in the comics is the true identity of Zoom.

Since this show has strayed significantly from the comics, which in my opinion is a good thing, I can’t see Hunter Zolomon being related in any way to Zoom. If he does it will simply be bad story telling. 

Zoom has been such a frightening and intimidating villain this season, that to introduce his true identity as somebody we’ve never met before, this late in the game would be story suicide. 

Zoom’s identity needs to have a huge impact on the Flash universe. It has to be somebody with gravitas.

I’m predicting Earth 2 Barry, Joe or Henry Allen. Maybe  even Earth 2 Eddie.

So, overall this episode was pretty good, albeit way too light on arc advancement. It was definitely a worthy episode, however, it is time to bring Zoom back into the forefront. I wouldn’t mind seeing a few more appearances by some of the other Rogues, Grodd, Weather Wizard, and obviously King Shark, considering we only got a glimpse of him in his first appearance. 

See you next week!

Legend’s of Tomorrow: Pilot Review

DC’s Legend’s of Tomorrow

Does It Stack Up?

Guys and girls, DC’s Legend’s of Tomorrow premiered on Thursday and it is definitely worth talking about so let’s do just that.

Legend’s of Tomorrow is CW’s third DC property, along with Flash and Arrow,  so does it stack up? Not yet.  I can’t stress the phrase “not yet” enough. This show was fun and has a ton of room to grow. LoT is the story of Rip Hunter, a time master from dystopian future who comes back to our time to recruit heroes, and villains, from the Arrow & Flash universe. Why?  To come together and help stop the catalyst of this horrible future, the immortal Vandal Savage. now we’ve already encountered Vandal Savage once before, during the big Arrow/Flash team up episode.

Who Are The Legends Of Tomorrow?

In the pilot we were also introduced to Hawkman who appeared in search of Hawkgirl for reasons we won’t get into here, its a long story. So who is on the roster here?

We have:

• Sara Lance/White Canary
• Ray Palmer/The Atom
• Leonard Snart/Captain Cold
• Mick Rory/Heat Wave
• Martin Stein and Jefferson “Jax” Jackson who together make up Firestorm
• Carter Hall/Hawkman
• Kendra Saunders/Hawkgirl
• and Rip Hunter himself.

Overall they make up a surprisingly fun team, especially given the aspect of time travel. In episode 1 they go back to 1975. Not too dangerous but fun as hell. Watching these 9 people try to navigate the world of bell bottoms and jive turkeys, was rewarding. I had a blast watching White Canary, Captain Cold, and Heat Wave decide to head to a bar, since the rest of the team left them behind to go consult an expert on Vandal Savage.

Heat Wave is delightfully insane, and his love of Captain and Tennille made me laugh, especially when the bar erupts into a fight. Captain & Tennille isn’t exactly brawl music, but hey, don’t fuck with Sara Lance. I was perfectly enjoying her solo dance scene until some shit head biker decided to sexually harass her. In fact, I could watch an entire episode of just White Canary dancing to 70’s music.

My kinda bird………see what I did there?

Legends Thinks Big

The area where the show shines is that it is epic in scope. The time travel is a cool concept and it allows for us to see the heroes in multiple different situations, and it also raises the stakes. If they fuck up the entire trajectory of history changes. It also allows us to see some very cool stuff. Different time periods mainly but also how the characters interact with these people. What will people who don’t even have electricity yet think of a super suit, and two men with a cold and heat gun. It also allows us to see some cool characters, it has already been confirmed that at some point we’re going to run into Jonah Hex, which hopefully will be super cool. The movie was a total botch.  Jonah Hex desperately needs a mulligan, more than Constantine even.

I can’t wait to see this guy on TV

Rip Hunter, Your Pants Are On Fire

One thing that also really stood out to me was when it was revealed that Rip Hunter had lied to the team. He says “In my time you aren’t just heroes, you’re legends.”, but later it is revealed that the group are not legends in the future.  They’re nobodies who’s names have been forgotten by time, and they were assembled because they have no heavy impact on the future, so therefore their deaths won’t fuck up the timeline. They’ve been assembled because they’re safe, and I found that an interesting direction to take the show. It explains why Rip Hunter didn’t simply try to assemble Flash and  Green Arrow, because if either of two die it will send major ripples through time.

Finally

A few stray observations, Rip Hunter has an interesting line where he says “In my time I’ve seen men of steel die, and dark knights fall.” Is this a reference to Batman and Superman? Of course it is, but does it mean anything is the real question. Will these two titans exist at some point in this universe or is it just a fun throw away reference, like the Wayne Tech/Queen Enterprises merger in Flash? We don’t know, but unless something gives or Batman V Superman is a massive flop, I doubt we’ll see either of them on the CW DC shows. It’s still a fun thing to reference though.

Overall guys, Legends of Tomorrow is fun, has an epic scope, cool special effects, and an interesting cast of characters. It’s acted well and written well. I just hope that this show busts wide open and starts having some real fun with their awesome premise, and characters. Given the premise and the time travel aspect, I can potentially see some really fun things in this shows future. So watch it, have fun with it, don’t take it too seriously, and think of it as more of a sci fi romp, than a superhero show.

Arrow: Blood Debts

Disappointing return from hiatus.

TV Reviews

Arrow Sucked This Week

Wednesday (1.20.16) marked the return of Arrow and how did it fare after the ending from the mid season finale? Not well.  Let’s talk about it.

What Went Wrong

When it comes to CW’s DC properties the jewel in the crown is clearly Flash, and episodes like this one really show why. Whereas Flash returned from it’s break fresh and ready to keep up the momentum of the first half of the season, Arrow ended their first half running and slammed face first into a brick wall with “Blood Debts”.

Spoilers follow. You’ve been warned.

 

 

Seriously, no bitching.

At the end of the first half of the season we had Oliver standing up to Damien Darhk. Not just in the light of day, but also very very publicly. This resulted in Darhk’s goons surrounding and shooting up Oliver’s car Sonny Corleone style, and hitting Felicity Smoak in the process. Obviously, given the flashes of Barry and Oliver at a grave in the beginning of the season, we are willing to assume it’s Felicity. Just kidding, nobody thought it was Felicity. Sadly, Arrow isn’t ballsy enough to kill Felicity, even though it would make for incredible story telling. So how can they keep Felicity but still make the situation dangerous? Cripple her. That’s right, folks. The bullets causes irreparable damage to Felicity’s spine and she will be confined to a wheel chair for the rest of her life. She’s a computer whiz, who works for team Arrow. She was shot by a villain and is crippled from spinal damage……………… ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, ARROW?!?!?!?!

Deja Bruce

The similarities between Oliver Queen and Bruce Wayne are fairly obvious, but we were all willing to look past it, but now you’re turning Felicity into Barbara Gordon aka Oracle.  Arrow, please. I like the show but you need to accept that you exist in a universe without Batman.  You can’t just take characters and situations out of the Batman universe, and inject into the Arrowverse just because you want to. It’s sloppy creatively and it’s goddamn lazy. Find ways that make Oliver and the Green Arrow interesting without making him Batman. Your writers are paid to be creative. CREATE. Seriously, it’s going too far. And I say this as a fan who has stuck with the show since the beginning. I am by no means shitting on the show, but the show has the potential to be great. I just want to see it get there.

ALFRED?!

Where this episode really hit a wall was with the villain. They sidestepped Damien Darhk, who has been great, to bring in yet another Batman villain, Anarky. The presence of Anarky was completely unnecessary, and only served to prolong the inevitable showdown between Darhk and Green Arrow.

Anarky In The CW

The Anarky stuff was flat. They didn’t do a very good job of fleshing him out as a character. He has neither the political agenda nor the personality of  Anarky from the comic books.  Both times Anarky appeared on Arrow i was left with the same response, “Why the fuck is Anarky on this show?” He has no reason to be in the Arrowverse and he shouldn’t be.

The Damien Darhk plot slowed to almost a crawl in Blood Debts.  We did get a quick fight between Darhk and Oliver. It was after Oliver freed Anarky from police custody so he could lead them to Darhk, which he kinda sorta did, in a round about way.

After freeing Anarky, like a dipshit, Oliver puts a tracking device on him. Long story short Anarky finds the tracking device and ditches it. Oliver, Thea and Black Magneto track Anarky to the house of Darhk’s family, where he has taken them hostage in hopes of killing Darhk.

Oliver saves Darhk’s family and encounters Darhk while leaving. They fight for a little bit and Oliver obviously can’t beat Darhk, which Darhk points out. In possibly the dumbest thing I’ve seen on tv ever, Darhk looks at Oliver and says “You saved my family. I’ll give you a week to spend with yours. Enjoy it” then leaves.  Apparently nobody could come up with a more interesting way to put off the final showdown. Again, lazy writing. Good guy, that Damien Darhk.

Neal McDonough as Damien Darhk is amazing though

Nothing Else Going On

Unfortunately nobody else had much to do in this episode.  There were a few minor subplots such as Anarky’s new obsession with Thea, because she’s the one who burned his face (or just because she looks good in red leather. Either way I don’t care.) Captain Lance is banging Felicity’s mom. Diggle is interrogating his own brother, and his interrogation involves beatings. And Laurel………..well……..I don’t really know. I tune out whenever Laurel is around. Her character is garbage and she looks like an idiot whenever she does her canary cry.

Meh At Best

Overall guys the episode was mediocre at best. They didn’t commit to killing Felicity which would have been fine, if the red herring wasn’t so obvious. They brought in a underwhelming and unnecessary side villain, and instead of dipping into the Batman universe, they dove right into the deep end.  I wasn’t impressed. Oliver consistently manages to underwhelm with his inability to use his brain on the spot. Seriously, buddy? Your future bride got shot and is now paralyzed.  You have a friend who created nano tech and used it on himself, and you have a friend who can go back in time. You’re telling me that out of Flash, Ray Palmer, Cisco, Caitlyn, Harrison Wells, and John Constantine, not a SINGLE one of them can do anything to help Felicity? Come on.

Arrow needs to build it’s own universe instead of taking bits and pieces from Batman’s. They have the parts, they just need to be put together. And they need to begin with populating the world with interesting characters. I’d start with making John Constantine a more permanent part of the show. Watching Oliver let John Constantine walk, with his knowledge of Darhk, magic and the occult, after 1 episode was the dumbest thing he’s ever done. Get back on track, Arrow. I believe in you.

The Flash: Potential Energy

The Flash returned to us tonight with “Potential Energy”, and overall it was a great episode, though it did involve a few infuriating components. Let’s get into it.

The… Turtle?

The Turtle was an intriguing villain with a power that’s the complete opposite of Barry’s. The Turtle has the power to slow down time to the point that it seems like he’s  going fast,when in fact everybody around him is just going slow. Cool concept, but when it really comes into play is how they can use Turtle’s power to stop Zoom.

It didn’t hurt that he was portrayed by Aaron Douglas of Battlestar Galactica fame. This villain was much more intimidating than I imagined. He was portrayed as more of a serial killer; a man who keeps his victims in cases as trophies.

I liked this because with a villain like this it could be easy to  drift into camp territory, especially when he makes the comment “killing is to quick and messy, I like to do things nice and………..slow.” It would have been easy to laugh if he wasn’t surrounded by the preserved corpse of his wife.

However

One area in which the show made me actively groan in frustration was in Barry’s inability to tell his awesome and gorgeous girlfriend that he is The Flash………….again. Patty needs, and deserves, to know. Watching Barry constantly ditch her to go do Flash stuff is kind of heartbreaking, due to Patty being so sweet.

What truly infuriates me about Barry not telling Patty is the superhero bullshit about how their loved ones will be targeted  and killed to get to the hero. This is a reasonable concern, but I’d like to point out that NOT ONE of the people who know Barry’s identity have been killed. Maybe with the exception of Eddie Thawn, but I’d argue he killed himself to defeat the Reverse Flash. Iris, Joe, Cisco, Caitlin and a few others are all still alive and for the most part doing fine. Barry knows he is capable of protecting the ones he cares about, so stop being a knucklehead and do it. It’s a stupid plot device to simply build friction.

What About Wally?

For me, the Wally West stuff hasn’t quite clicked yet. He was just introduced so soon that I felt we didn’t get enough time with him.

You have a hit show guys, don’t introduce everybody all at once. The scene of Wally drag racing was entirely unnecessary in my opinion. that was all time that could have been spent with Barry and Patty, I understand that it was used to give Jesse L Martin a little meat to sink his teeth into and don’t get me wrong watching him do it is always a pleasure, he is hands down the best actor on the show but I feel the drag racing scene was typical “I hate my dad” teenage angst bullshit, Jesse L Martin needs more to work with.

No Zoom

Unfortunately we didn’t get much development on the Zoom front. He didn’t even make an appearance, but we did see the ramifications of his last little visit.

Harrison Wells has been thrown into desperation mode to get his daughter back from Zoom, and has put his own end game into motion. That resulted in the return of Eobard Thawn, the Reverse Flash. He arrived in the current timeline while Harrison experimented on The Turtle. Arewe gearing up for a return of Harrison Wells as Reverse Flash? Is he gearing up to steal Zoom’s speed and Eobard’s body again, or does he simply plan to steal Eobard’s speed and suit and use it against Zoom and Barry?

Maybe  Flash, Reverse Flash and Zoom are all on a collision course, a super powered Mexican standoff to decide the victor of season 2, and the world we’ll be entering in season 3.

In Conclusion

“Potential Energy” was a great episode of The Flash and more than a worthy opener to bring us into the second half of Season 2. It was shaky in some parts as I discussed above, but that by no means makes the episode a bad one. In the end The Flash is almost always a joy to watch, and one of the television highlights of my week.

Supernatural Returns This Week

“I got a Sam!”

The Wait Is Over

Sam Vs Lucifer: Cage Match

Thank Christ the long wait is over. We’ve been without (many) good shows since mid December, and no tv and no sex make Mark something something. Aya Cash (Gretchen from You’re The Worst) gave me a list of shows to watch in the meantime, but I am glad my shows are coming back.

Supernatural is coming this Wednesday January 20th, and will (hopefully) let us know what happened once Sammy got in the Cage with Lucifer. I predict happiness and good things. I”m usually right about these things. We already know that Bobby is making a return this season, so things are definitely looking good for the rest of Season 11.

Supernatural dropped a hilarious promo for their return. Crowley and his (hot) mom opening presents around the tree. Adorable. “I got a Sam!”  says lil’ Crowley to the milfy red-nosed Rowena.

I love that this show is funny, and doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s what makes the show worth watching for 11 seasons. Thanks Ben Edlund for instilling humor in the franchise.

I imagine Mighty Dale will write a nice review of the new episode, so keep your eyes open for that. Are you going to watch?

Bobby Returns

  

Supernatural News

Bobby and Rufus To Return

Good news everybody! Supernatural mainstay, and original cast member, Bobby Singer, will be returning for an episode in season 11.

 He’ll be bringing Rufus with him. We don’t know much about the episode as of yet, but what we do know is that it’s a time travel episode. Sam and Dean will be returning to some time in the past to investigate something Bobby and Rufus had been working on sometime in season 5. 

That’s great for a few reasons. First and foremost being that we get Bobby back,but we also get to go back to the time when the show was at its peak. Showrunners have also said there will be a lot of great call backs in the episode. Hopefully it leads to something big and is an arc episode. Nobody wants a Bobby return for a monster of the week episode. Judging by the promo images we’ll be getting an episode with Sam, Dean and Cas all stuck in the cage with Lucifer. That’s… Just badass.

So there’s a lot to look forward to going into the second half of the season.

Deadwood Revival

At Long Last! More Deadwood!

More Deadwood!

More Swearing & Swearengen

Today came with good  news! not only is it Friday but, a decade after an inglorious cancellation that just left the show hanging, the beloved HBO series Deadwood is returning. It will be in the form of a movie, which works just fine for this guy.

Deadwood is the story of the denizens of the filthy Western gold mining town of Deadwood, South Dakota, the good, the bad and the just plain slimy.

Like these two

About The Past. Ahead Of Its Time

Deadwood was a show that was  far ahead of it’s time. whether it was the brutal subject matter (prostitution, racism, myriad addictions, murder, rape), the foul language (so many cocksuckers) or just rising actor costs, that got it prematurely cancelled, it’s generally held that this show has been long overdue for a revival.  No show was able to boast so much bad language per episode without seeming to try too hard to push buttons, so let’s talk about

Why Deadwood was so goddamn good.

One of the first things about Deadwood that stands out to me is the moral ambiguity. Now don’t get me wrong, there are definitely good guys and bad guys. However, the good guys aren’t always squeaky clean and the bad guys aren’t filthy to the core. Decency can be found in the worst scoundrel, and the best person can be an occasional …. well, cocksucker.

There is no mustache twirling in Deadwood. Everybody just wants to get by, and survive in a world that is far more brutal than anything we can imagine.  Since, at this time,  Deadwood wasn’t even part of the United States, due to it being on Sioux land, brutality and lawlessness was through the roof. It was the rule of the strongest, and biggest badass. Which is brings us to….

Al Swearengen

 It is no secret that Ian McShane’s slimy, brutal, ambitious Al Swearengen is the stand out star of a show full of great characters, and actors. McShane plays the character perfectly. He is a murderer, thief and woman beater, but every now and again we see a softer side to Al. Especially when it comes to the prostitute Trixie (Paula Malcomson), whom Al seems to genuinely care for. He went so far as to murder an innocent prostitute to pass off for Trixie when season 3’s villain wanted her dead. Trixie is Al’s soft spot, despite him frequently dishing her out brutal beatings.

You will never hear this word so often anywhere else.

It’s a Western. Westerns are few and far between on television these days, and good ones are even farther and fewer between. Deadwood broke the mold when it comes to Westerns on television, because since they were on HBO, they could have swearing, and nudity, and mayhem. There hasn’t been a tv western this good since. Hell on Wheels gives a valiant try but never hits the same highs as Deadwood. The Western is a truly American art form, and it’s great to see one not only being aired, but being revived after a decade.

The Goddamn Swearing

Language. Never in my life have I heard so many swears in one hour of television. These guys swear every other word and they aren’t afraid to use the really bad ones either. The idea was to be accurate to the way frontier people spoke, but they updated the swears so they would resonate with a contemporary audience.  I could write more on this, but anybody who is reading this already knows can extrapolate.

Great Cast. Great Characters

The characters. I could have talked about this earlier but I really wanted to talk about Al Swearengen separately, considering he was really the standout as far as I’m concerned.

Calamity Jane always at her best

So let’s talk about some of the rest here. Deadwood was full of characters, each one as unique as the town in which they lived. Whether it be the unflappable Seth Bullock (Justified’s Timothy Olyphant), the incredible Calamity Jane (played masterfully by Robin Weigert), the aforementioned Trixie,  the drug addicted widow of high social standing, Alma Garret (House of Card’s Mollie Parker), or the consumptive town doctor who suffers in his helplessness (medicine was shit back then), played by veteran character actor Brad Dourif. All these characters populate Deadwood and fill it with a unique flare and help create an environment brimming with possibilities and adventures. Nobody is one dimensional.

Seriously guys save this gif to your phone, you will use it all the time

Overall I can’t really express how thrilled I am to see such a quality television show come back. I’m also thrilled to see that people are interested enough in a show like this to bring it back. Good work, guys!  I used to believe that people just didn’t like shows that made them use their brains too much.  I believe that may be changing, which bodes well for a slew of other great shows that ended long before their time, Rome and Hannibal to name a few, so all in all, this is awesome.