Arrow: A.W.O.L/Unchained

cw arrow show review oliver queen

aka Wheels and the Legman

Arrow Episode Review

AWOL and Unchained

I was quite sick last week I didn’t get around to watching A.W.O.L until tonight, so we’re getting a 2 in one review. A.W.O.L and Unchained, so let’s get into it. Hopefully you’ve read my Arrow reviews before, so you know how I do this.

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Rear Window meets Fight Club

A.W.O.L.

This episode was the first time we got to see Felicity’s new role in the crew, not that it has  changed that much, but she is certainly in a different head space at the start of this episode. She is understandably upset about her paralysis. She’s been confronted with the rest of her life. Where it once contained so much promise, she’s been confined to a chair with wheels. At least that’s how Felicity feels. She’s not really in a ‘glass half full’ place this episode.

She actually started to hallucinate and go a bit stir crazy. She’s even managed to manifest her own Tyler Durden, in the form of Goth Felicity. She constantly bugs Felicity about her situation, her blonde hair, and her glasses. Fuck off goth Felicity. You’re not interesting and you’re annoying. A fuck off double whammy.

So Felicity is having a personality crisis and it’s showing in her hacker performance, luckily, this was one of the more interesting arcs of the episode. She slipped and someone almost bought it.

Goth felicity arrow season 3 death

No, Goth Felicity!!! You’re not welcome here, I CAST YOU OUT, UNCLEAN SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!!

Brothers

So this brings me to the next point. The Andy/Diggle brother arc seems to have come to a conclusion in this episode. Andy finally came around and patched things up with Diggle, as they come together at the end to go up against Shadowspire. This storyline has been brewing for a long time during this season and it seemed like Diggle was slamming himself up against a brick wall, and couldn’t reach Andy no matter what he said.

In this episode it seems like he had chipped away enough to finally make a hole and get through to Andy. We also moved away from the Oliver flashbacks in this episode, and shed a little light on Diggle and Andy’s past.

andy diggle shadowspire arrow review brother cell

Bring me a burger and i’ll come around no problem

I enjoyed Diggle’s selective memory when it comes to his brother. He convinced Andy to enlist in order to get his little brother on the straight and narrow, but some men just aren’t meant t0 walk the righteous path. As soon as Andy arrives in camp he falls in with a bad crowd in order to make a little extra scratch on the side.  Diggle wanted his brother to straighten out, so that’s exactly what he saw.

This brings us to the big conflict of the episode, Team Arrow vs Shadowspire.  Shadowspire’s bread and butter is misdirection, as stated by former member Andy Diggle. Guess what?

Whoops

Shadowspire makes Team Arrow believe that they are after a shipment of rail guns, so we get Oliver, Thea and Laurel waiting at the truck depot for Shadowspire.   When they don’t show our heroes know something is wrong. Upon this realization Shadowspire takes over an A.R.G.U.S base and holds Amanda Waller, and Lila Diggle, at gunpoint looking for something called Rubicon, which is some nasty bullshit. [Mighty Dale falters] I don’t know, I didn’t pay attention at this part, fucking sue me, sadly this resulted in the death of Amanda Waller.

That kind of sucks since Waller is such a huge part of the DC/Suicide Squad universe. It was nice having her around, and she was cold as goddamn ice, which was awesome. She was willing to watch everybody in that room get shot in the face before giving up Rubicon.

So, after learning of the A.R.G.U.S situation via a panic button, the Diggle brothers (that would make a sick 70’s band name. The Diggle Brothers Band) concoct an elaborate plan where Andy pretends to be returning to Shadowspire, and brings John in as a fake hostage (the ol’ Chewie prisoner trick).

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“Tonight on Top Prick”

Oliver, Thea and Laurel arrive to get into the fight, which brings us to Arrow’s douchiest line this season. Oliver gets on his communicator and calls Felicity, who is back to her keyboard crunching self, Overwatch. This is fine except she’s confused about the name and Oliver says, “I thought it was about time you got a code name what do you think?”, to which Felicity responds, “It’s perfect.”  Oliver responds, “I was going to go with Oracle but it was taken.” wink wink nod nod puke. FUCK……….YOU, Oliver Queen., Fuck you 10 ways from Sunday. Stop making Batman references!  It’s not cute. They’re not funny little references for the DC fandom. It’s annoying, and every time you do that it makes me want Batman more.

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Right here, Oliver.

Unchained

So let’s move on to Unchained, Unchained was actually quite a good episode and saw the return of a few familiar faces, so let’s… hit the ground running.

Unchained really didn’t stand out that much, and if it weren’t for the interesting returns of some great characters, it wouldn’t have been anything to write home about. It did have some great action and obviously as I’ve mentioned, the returns of Nyssa Al Ghul, Roy Harper and Katana, it also boasted some great action sequences, finally.

This episode saw the return of Roy Harper (not this Roy Harper) albeit a brainwashed Roy Harper.  He was being controlled via a contact lens in his eye. He was trying to steal parts from Palmer Tech in order to build a big tech bomb that would basically destroy the internet, and erase everything.  Who was controlling him was the big mystery in this episode. It was a new villain known as The Calculator, a genius level hacker to rival even Felicity Smoak. blah blah blah, this wasn’t very interesting at all.

Where this episode shined was in the emotional aspect of a character like Roy being returned to the fold, albeit all too briefly. His reunion with the crew was interesting, especially since at the beginning of the episode, he started off as a Team Arrow adversary.

Obviously his reunion with Thea was going to be a huge moment.  These two are set up to be the loves of each other’s lives, and it was unfortunate to see them have to part ways, when they would clearly rather spend the rest of their lives together. I

also thought it was hilarious how Roy left his Red Arrow suit for Thea after his first departure.  I assume Team Arrow took Roy’s suit, stitched it up to fit the tiny Thea and redesigned it. Somehow,  when Roy puts it on it reverts to the original design and somehow still fits him. SCIENCE. But whatever, TV logic I guess. I can look past it.

Team Arrow.

Since when did superhero suit = fetish night?

Nyssa vs Katana

We also got some fantastic action in this episode. Nyssa’s escape was great, but the fight between Nyssa and Katana was incredible. Sadly it didn’t last too long, but the choreography was excellent, and felt like we were watching 2 highly skilled fighters. Plus, it’s always nice seeing both Nyssa and Katana, but Nyssa had to get to Star City to serve a bigger purpose. She holds the Lotus, a mystery cure for Thea’s blood lust. Because apparently Oliver can’t call John Constantine again. It always makes me giggle about how once characters leave the show it’s like they don’t exist.

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It’s always awesome seeing two strong females back in the mix and get some killer action scenes. The TV and movie world can never have enough tough chicks.

Sadly it felt like this episode simply existed to lead up to the big reveal that Calculator is Felicity’s dad. This  was actually no reveal at all considering this had been predicted on the internet long before the show revealed it.

So overall, Roy, Nyssa and Katana came back and Felicity has daddy issues. That’s basically the whole episode. We’ll see you guys next week.

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Legend’s of Tomorrow: Pilot Review

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DC’s Legend’s of Tomorrow

Does It Stack Up?

Guys and girls, DC’s Legend’s of Tomorrow premiered on Thursday and it is definitely worth talking about so let’s do just that.

Legend’s of Tomorrow is CW’s third DC property, along with Flash and Arrow,  so does it stack up? Not yet.  I can’t stress the phrase “not yet” enough. This show was fun and has a ton of room to grow. LoT is the story of Rip Hunter, a time master from dystopian future who comes back to our time to recruit heroes, and villains, from the Arrow & Flash universe. Why?  To come together and help stop the catalyst of this horrible future, the immortal Vandal Savage. now we’ve already encountered Vandal Savage once before, during the big Arrow/Flash team up episode.

Who Are The Legends Of Tomorrow?

In the pilot we were also introduced to Hawkman who appeared in search of Hawkgirl for reasons we won’t get into here, its a long story. So who is on the roster here?

We have:

  • Sara Lance/White Canary
  • Ray Palmer/The Atom
  • Leonard Snart/Captain Cold
  • Mick Rory/Heat Wave
  • Martin Stein and Jefferson “Jax” Jackson who together make up Firestorm
  • Carter Hall/Hawkman
  • Kendra Saunders/Hawkgirl
  • and Rip Hunter himself.

Overall they make up a surprisingly fun team, especially given the aspect of time travel. In episode 1 they go back to 1975. Not too dangerous but fun as hell. Watching these 9 people try to navigate the world of bell bottoms and jive turkeys, was rewarding. I had a blast watching White Canary, Captain Cold, and Heat Wave decide to head to a bar, since the rest of the team left them behind to go consult an expert on Vandal Savage.

Heat Wave is delightfully insane, and his love of Captain and Tennille made me laugh, especially when the bar erupts into a fight. Captain & Tennille isn’t exactly brawl music, but hey, don’t fuck with Sara Lance. I was perfectly enjoying her solo dance scene until some shit head biker decided to sexually harass her. In fact, I could watch an entire episode of just White Canary dancing to 70’s music.

white canary legends of tomorrow review sara

My kinda bird………see what I did there?

Legends Thinks Big

The area where the show shines is that it is epic in scope. The time travel is a cool concept and it allows for us to see the heroes in multiple different situations, and it also raises the stakes. If they fuck up the entire trajectory of history changes. It also allows us to see some very cool stuff. Different time periods mainly but also how the characters interact with these people. What will people who don’t even have electricity yet think of a super suit, and two men with a cold and heat gun. It also allows us to see some cool characters, it has already been confirmed that at some point we’re going to run into Jonah Hex, which hopefully will be super cool. The movie was a total botch.  Jonah Hex desperately needs a mulligan, more than Constantine even.

jonah hex dc universe comic books legends of tomorrow.

I can’t wait to see this guy on TV

Rip Hunter, Your Pants Are On Fire

One thing that also really stood out to me was when it was revealed that Rip Hunter had lied to the team. He says “In my time you aren’t just heroes, you’re legends.”, but later it is revealed that the group are not legends in the future.  They’re nobodies who’s names have been forgotten by time, and they were assembled because they have no heavy impact on the future, so therefore their deaths won’t fuck up the timeline. They’ve been assembled because they’re safe, and I found that an interesting direction to take the show. It explains why Rip Hunter didn’t simply try to assemble Flash and  Green Arrow, because if either of two die it will send major ripples through time.

Finally

A few stray observations, Rip Hunter has an interesting line where he says “In my time I’ve seen men of steel die, and dark knights fall.” Is this a reference to Batman and Superman? Of course it is, but does it mean anything is the real question. Will these two titans exist at some point in this universe or is it just a fun throw away reference, like the Wayne Tech/Queen Enterprises merger in Flash? We don’t know, but unless something gives or Batman V Superman is a massive flop, I doubt we’ll see either of them on the CW DC shows. It’s still a fun thing to reference though.

Overall guys, Legends of Tomorrow is fun, has an epic scope, cool special effects, and an interesting cast of characters. It’s acted well and written well. I just hope that this show busts wide open and starts having some real fun with their awesome premise, and characters. Given the premise and the time travel aspect, I can potentially see some really fun things in this shows future. So watch it, have fun with it, don’t take it too seriously, and think of it as more of a sci fi romp, than a superhero show.

Arrow: Blood Debts

Arrow tv show review blood debts cw

Disappointing return from hiatus.

TV Reviews

Arrow Sucked This Week

Wednesday (1.20.16) marked the return of Arrow and how did it fare after the ending from the mid season finale? Not well.  Let’s talk about it.

What Went Wrong

When it comes to CW’s DC properties the jewel in the crown is clearly Flash, and episodes like this one really show why. Whereas Flash returned from it’s break fresh and ready to keep up the momentum of the first half of the season, Arrow ended their first half running and slammed face first into a brick wall with “Blood Debts”.

Spoilers follow. You’ve been warned.

 

 

Seriously, no bitching.

At the end of the first half of the season we had Oliver standing up to Damien Darhk. Not just in the light of day, but also very very publicly. This resulted in Darhk’s goons surrounding and shooting up Oliver’s car Sonny Corleone style, and hitting Felicity Smoak in the process. Obviously, given the flashes of Barry and Oliver at a grave in the beginning of the season, we are willing to assume it’s Felicity. Just kidding, nobody thought it was Felicity. Sadly, Arrow isn’t ballsy enough to kill Felicity, even though it would make for incredible story telling. So how can they keep Felicity but still make the situation dangerous? Cripple her. That’s right, folks. The bullets causes irreparable damage to Felicity’s spine and she will be confined to a wheel chair for the rest of her life. She’s a computer whiz, who works for team Arrow. She was shot by a villain and is crippled from spinal damage……………… ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, ARROW?!?!?!?!

Deja Bruce

The similarities between Oliver Queen and Bruce Wayne are fairly obvious, but we were all willing to look past it, but now you’re turning Felicity into Barbara Gordon aka Oracle.  Arrow, please. I like the show but you need to accept that you exist in a universe without Batman.  You can’t just take characters and situations out of the Batman universe, and inject into the Arrowverse just because you want to. It’s sloppy creatively and it’s goddamn lazy. Find ways that make Oliver and the Green Arrow interesting without making him Batman. Your writers are paid to be creative. CREATE. Seriously, it’s going too far. And I say this as a fan who has stuck with the show since the beginning. I am by no means shitting on the show, but the show has the potential to be great. I just want to see it get there.

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ALFRED?!

Where this episode really hit a wall was with the villain. They sidestepped Damien Darhk, who has been great, to bring in yet another Batman villain, Anarky. The presence of Anarky was completely unnecessary, and only served to prolong the inevitable showdown between Darhk and Green Arrow.

Anarky In The CW

The Anarky stuff was flat. They didn’t do a very good job of fleshing him out as a character. He has neither the political agenda nor the personality of  Anarky from the comic books.  Both times Anarky appeared on Arrow i was left with the same response, “Why the fuck is Anarky on this show?” He has no reason to be in the Arrowverse and he shouldn’t be.

The Damien Darhk plot slowed to almost a crawl in Blood Debts.  We did get a quick fight between Darhk and Oliver. It was after Oliver freed Anarky from police custody so he could lead them to Darhk, which he kinda sorta did, in a round about way.

After freeing Anarky, like a dipshit, Oliver puts a tracking device on him. Long story short Anarky finds the tracking device and ditches it. Oliver, Thea and Black Magneto track Anarky to the house of Darhk’s family, where he has taken them hostage in hopes of killing Darhk.

Oliver saves Darhk’s family and encounters Darhk while leaving. They fight for a little bit and Oliver obviously can’t beat Darhk, which Darhk points out. In possibly the dumbest thing I’ve seen on tv ever, Darhk looks at Oliver and says “You saved my family. I’ll give you a week to spend with yours. Enjoy it” then leaves.  Apparently nobody could come up with a more interesting way to put off the final showdown. Again, lazy writing. Good guy, that Damien Darhk.

Arrow Damien Darhj creepy awesome villain

Neal McDonough as Damien Darhk is amazing though

Nothing Else Going On

Unfortunately nobody else had much to do in this episode.  There were a few minor subplots such as Anarky’s new obsession with Thea, because she’s the one who burned his face (or just because she looks good in red leather. Either way I don’t care.) Captain Lance is banging Felicity’s mom. Diggle is interrogating his own brother, and his interrogation involves beatings. And Laurel………..well……..I don’t really know. I tune out whenever Laurel is around. Her character is garbage and she looks like an idiot whenever she does her canary cry.

Meh At Best

Overall guys the episode was mediocre at best. They didn’t commit to killing Felicity which would have been fine, if the red herring wasn’t so obvious. They brought in a underwhelming and unnecessary side villain, and instead of dipping into the Batman universe, they dove right into the deep end.  I wasn’t impressed. Oliver consistently manages to underwhelm with his inability to use his brain on the spot. Seriously, buddy? Your future bride got shot and is now paralyzed.  You have a friend who created nano tech and used it on himself, and you have a friend who can go back in time. You’re telling me that out of Flash, Ray Palmer, Cisco, Caitlyn, Harrison Wells, and John Constantine, not a SINGLE one of them can do anything to help Felicity? Come on.

Arrow needs to build it’s own universe instead of taking bits and pieces from Batman’s. They have the parts, they just need to be put together. And they need to begin with populating the world with interesting characters. I’d start with making John Constantine a more permanent part of the show. Watching Oliver let John Constantine walk, with his knowledge of Darhk, magic and the occult, after 1 episode was the dumbest thing he’s ever done. Get back on track, Arrow. I believe in you.

Arrow: Season 4 Big Reveal

Seriously what the fuck am I looking at?

Seriously what the fuck am I looking at?

Diggle Giggle

Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news has dropped straight from the set of the hit CW show Arrow. The hit adaptation of the DC comic’s hero and Justice League member Green Arrow has recently revealed a new photo, which shows Oliver’s partner, sidekick, and confidante John Diggle finally suiting up and donning the mantle of………………….Magneto?

That’s right, kids. Diggle is suiting up, and by suiting up I mean something between a leather daddy, and (Power) Top Gear.

The World’s First Analrapist

(Not So) Secret Identity

Now what baffles me is why would Diggle suit up now?  He’s two years into his vigilantism, and NOW he wants to hide his identity? Everybody knows you already. Do you think the League of Assassin’s are going to go, “Whatever happened to that Diggle guy?” and the new Ra’s will simply say, “Disappeared, but  another tall, buff, black guy appeared right after, hanging around Team Arrow.”

Now don’t get me wrong here, friends, I’m not bashing the guy.  I’m as big a Diggle fan as the next guy, but slapping a helmet on on him that:

A. looks like Magneto’s and

B. it barely covers his face

It’s stupid, cheap, and cheesy. You can do better, Arrow costume department.  Look at what The Flash has done. They’ve created a functional suit that looks great, is true to the source material, but still original.

Diggle’s suit looks like the losing outfit on Project Runway.

I hope Arrow can recapture the magic of season 2.  It’s more important than ever after such a weak 3rd season,  which had so many low points it’s hard to list them all (but I’ll name the ones that irk me the most)

Mighty Dale Judges Season 3

Olicity. Just typing that word made me dry heave a little. Then the fact that the show runners basically took the Bruce Wayne story, slapped the name Oliver Queen on it, and sold it as a unique idea. That’s cheaper than Diggle’s goddamn suit.  Oliver and Felicity driving a porsche off into the sunset was garbage, and it should have been left on the cutting room floor. It’s so ridiculous and so cheesy I had to burst out with laughter.  The convertible, the smiles, the blonde hair, the sunset, the end of season one had the glades blowing up and Oliver more or less failing to save the day, season 2 had the amazing Slade Wilson finally put away in an A.R.G.U.S. facility, and season 3, well, I had to check to make sure I wasn’t watching an episode of Beverly Hills 90210.

CW, stop diluting cool shows with tween romance shit, in order to skew to a younger demo. It’s like adding whipped cream to scotch.

please tell me the car's going to blow up, please tell me the car's going to blow up, wait it's not going to blow up?!?!?!?!

please tell me the car’s going to blow up, please tell me the car’s going to blow up, wait it’s not going to blow up?!?!?!?!

Guys and girls, I don’t know if Season 4 can fight it’s way back, but I sure hope it does, this is a show that has had some real highs, and it’s taken the viewer on some great adventures. Lets all hope we get a great 4th season…………starring Magneto, and if not, heres to Legends of Tomorrow. Welcome back Sara Lance, we’ve missed you.