Batman V Superman Trailer Analysis

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Batman v Superman

Dawn of Justice

So the new Batman V Superman trailer debuted on Wednesday Dec 2nd, and there were a lot of mixed emotions in the Dale of the Dead household, I watched it over and over, processing everything I was seeing. Anybody who knows me will tell you I am an unashamed comic book fan. DC, Marvel, Dark Horse, Vertigo, whatever, I don’t pick sides because I know I live in the golden age of seeing my favorite heroes being put up on the big screen.  I have nothing to bitch about.

Finally, the Justice League

I’ve eagerly awaited the day that we’d see a Justice League movie, and when the big news hit I was excited as all hell. I liked Man of Steel for the most part, and am a big fan of Henry Cavill as Superman. I’m worried because the more I see of this movie,the more my excitement diminishes.  Let’s talk about the trailer, the good, the bad, the straight up fuckin weird.

Here is is if you haven’t seen it yet, or you want to go back and see something I mention.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Trailer

So our trailer starts off with Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent, at some fancy ass soiree. He sees a car pull up and asks who the driver is. spoiler alert, it’s Bruce Wayne. Seriously Clark?!?!? You work for the press, and you have no idea who Bruce Wayne is? The FUCKING BILLIONAIRE FACE OF GOTHAM, and you’re clueless?  Maybe Zod smacked him around too much and fucked up his long term memory.

Clark introduces himself to Bruce and asks him his opinion on the “bat vigilante”. Batfleck pulls an “I dipped my dick in your soup” grin that only a douchey billionaire could pull off. Then it’s cue the montage of bat stuff going down. Police raiding a home and finding a baddie tied up, and branded with a bat symbol. BRANDED. This I actually like. The brutality is great.

Batman needs to be more extreme than Superman due to his lack of powers, so this was fine with me. You hear the conversation between Clark and Bruce playing over the action. Bruce accuses Clark of being a hypocrite since every time Superman saves a cat out of a tree Clark writes a puff piece about it. Batfleck then drops the “I have a bad history with freaks dressed like clowns” an obvious nod to Joker. We then see the Robin suit with “hahaha joke’s on you Batman” scrawled on it, implying that this takes place in a post Jason Todd world.

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When titans meet

All this has great tension, the music is sufficiently dark and foreboding, all this leads to…………Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor. He breaks all that tension by very campily calling,  “BOYS!!! This Lex totally majored in musical theater.

Lex proceeds to ingratiate himself to Bruce and Clark, and act like a total douche nozzle. Seriously, how Clark refrains from punching a hole in Lex’s face is beyond me. I got a few seconds of him and it was enough to drive me into a murderous rage.

More Montage

Onward to another montage of things we’ve seen already for the most part. Superman and his weird SWAT team, Superman showing up for his hearing, more Lex, Bruce saying that Superman brought the war to earth, scenes of the Superman/Zod fight from Man of Steel (I’m actually excited to see that fight from a different perspective), and shots of Batman and Superman duking it out.  We hear Lex saying “the greatest gladiator fight in the history of the world! Son of Krypton vs Bat of Gotham!”

This implies that Lex is manipulating one or both of them against each other, for undoubtably nefarious purposes. We also get some cool shots of what I assume is the batwing, and we see Amy Adams as Lois Lane. Hey Amy, welcome to the party. Then more fighting, and a shot of the bat mobile, which I actually think looks pretty damn good. I hated the tumbler so this is a welcome change for me. Then we get that really strange shot of Batman fighting Superman’s SWAT guys in some kind of desert suit,while strange flying moth things fly around and pick up SWAT guys. I can’t make heads or tails of this, but I think it’s Bruce’s dream sequence about a world where Superman goes unchecked.

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What the fuck is happening here?!?!?!?!

This leads to my favorite part of the trailer, Superman and Batman fight in the rain and Superman tells Batman, “Stay down, if I wanted it you’d be dead already.” Which really is true. Without the use of kryptonite Batman really could never realistically stand a chance. He’s alive because of Superman’s restraint, which also shows me what I suspected the whole time. The killing of Zod in Man of Steel was a turning point for Clark. He learned that he never wants to do that again, and here it shows that he is maintaining that ideology; one step closer to becoming the blue boy scout we all know from the comic books. On another note, Batman’s Dark Knight Returns armor looks pretty damn good.

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better than I was expecting honestly

What Day Is It? Doomsday.

Then comes the big reveal, which imo was just way way too much for a trailer. We see General Zod’s body being wheeled to Lex, and this is when the trailer gets real Frankensteinesque, with lightning and shit, and the mad scientist Lex Luthor declaring, “If man won’t kill God, then the Devil will do it.” That’s when we hear a roar and see something crashing down the side of a building. Out of the smoke and wreckage… Doomsday, and ladies and gentlemen, he ain’t looking so hot.
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I had NO idea that the cave troll from lord of the rings was crossing over into the DC universe, good for him, finally getting his big break

Wonder Woman Saves the Day

Doomsday fires his laser face at Batman and Superman, who are seemingly fucked, only to be saved by Wonder Woman. But I feel this may be a different scene entirely.You know how tricky trailers can be.
Supes looks at Bats and asks “Is she with you?” Bats looks back and with his weird robot, throat cancer voice says, “I thought she was with you.” ha fucking ha. I’m getting too old for this hackneyed shit. We then get our first shot of the holy trinity in action.

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I give you your trinity

Mighty Dale’s Judgement

So that’s my rundown of the trailer. Now I’ll give you my opinion. It has some good stuff. I’m cool with Batfleck, I’m cool with Henry Cavill as Superman. So far I can’t stand Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. Lex is supposed to be an intimidating business man, who gets his way through intelligence and brutality, for fucks sake. The man becomes president at one point, I can’t see the Eisenberg Luthor ever becoming president. I can only hope that his douchebag behavior is an act to mask his true evil nature. I can say the same for Doomsday almost, I hope that over the course of the movie he evolves into the version of Doomsday we know and love, and this is just his very first incarnation. In the end guys and girls, I’ll be in line, probably at midnight, to check this movie out, but am I not 100% sold on this DC universe, not even close.

 

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Nacht Der Krampus

holiday movie horror krampus review

Krampus Was Great

Krampus Mini Movie Review

No Spoilers

Howdy, folks. I’ve just returned from seeing Krampus and fuck was it fun, was it the best horror movie ever? No. Was it the best Christmas movie ever? No, was it the best horror Christmas movie ever? maybe, so let’s get into it.

The Germans Ruin Everything.

Krampus is the story of a family at Christmas time,The thing is that most of them are shitty people. These people  have simply become disillusioned with their lives and have forgotten the real meaning of Christmas. Pretty standard formula right? WRONG!!!!, Nothing is standard when Krampus gets involved.

As night falls a massive blizzard moves in knocking out the lights, radios, cell phones and everything else that might fuck up Krampus’s fun. Step one, isolate the prey. Poltergeist is a german word for a reason.

As the night wears on and, turns into days Krampus terrorizes our family with his hilarious minions including a demonic monster teddy bear, a Satanic Christmas tree angel, and a gang of murderous trigger happy gingerbread cookies. For real. It’s like Sam Raimi presents Shrek. It actually felt a lot like Gremlins at times.

This all makes the movie a whole lot of fun. It utilizes horror without sacrificing charm or Christmas spirit (like Home Alone). It also delivers laughs throughout (unlike Home Alone). Krampus’  very first appearance is also pretty memorable.

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Gene Simmons steals children to feed upon their youth

I’d recommend you go see this one this Christmas. If you love horror you’ll dig it.  If you love Christmas movies you’ll probably dig it. If you just want to have a whole lot of fun I guarantee you will. If you’re one of those horrible people that bought a Krampus sweater a couple years back, when Krampus suddenly became a thing, then kindly drink bleach. Seriously. You’re the type of person who’s only days away from saying, “You’ll shoot your eye out!”  at the office… for no reason. Please. Just stop. It’s exhausting.

This movie does a lot of things right, including somehow managing to get a lot out of their PG 13 rating and avoiding the pit fall of dragging it out. So get to the theater and have a little fun, leave seriousness or expectations at the door. And keep an eye out for a full review, with spoilers, after it’s been out for a while.

Krampus

Being bad Es Verboten