Stop Thinking With Your Dick

south park jimmy thinking with your dick

South Park Is The Cassandra Of Our Time

The Wisdom Of South Park

Season 19 of South Park is shaking things up. That’s no surprise since South Park is often about social issues. The episode where Cartman cooked Scott Tennerman’s parents was about anti-vaxxers, for instance.

I made that screen grab from last night’s episode, featuring Jimmy and former anchormen vs advertising. It sounds dumb and it is, but it also isn’t, because of the wisdom above.

jimmy south park season 19 pc principal

She d-d-doesn’t know she’s an ad, does she?

Jimmy starts rationalizing the existence of ads in human form, because he likes one of them. She’s cute. So the anchormen try to bring him back to his sense by saying, “You’re thinking with your dick. Stop thinking with your dick.” Yes. If we can all stop thinking with our dick, or lady dick as it were, then we could all be free of the constant barrage of neurolinguistic programming to which we’re subjected. Here endeth the lesson. Penus.

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Mighty Dale Ventures South

ten kinds of alcohol

Yes, ladies, he’s single.

Dale Braves Florida

AKA Purgatory

Our beloved Dale has been in Florida for the Thanksgiving holidays, which is reasonable, since his family is from Alberta, Canada. I do not understand the ways of our neighbors to the north. I do know they’re all born with tails.

We kept in touch, Dale and I, as we are wont to do, and during his time in the Wilderness, he was cajoled into drinking an old lady chinese restaurant foo foo drink.

Why? Well it’s made with 10 kinds of alcohol, and served in a tiki cup that holds 4oz, comes with an umbrella. Mighty Dale succumbed to peer pressure and drank this hideous concoction. He also ate the famous Florida Lasagna, twice.

Here is the tale in his own words. Pray for him.

florida vacation drinking

mighty dale

The paper umbrella means it’s classy.

IMG_2841

Dale will return to Gotham tomorrow (Monday), and then he’ll get busy on his next blog post…whatever that will be.

Tonight is the Walking Dead mid-season finale. So we will not know if Carl survives, Glenn makes it back and/or reunites with Maggie, if Alexandria survives, if the Wolves attack, if Father Gabriel likes calamari, if the lesbian doctor gets some more, if Carol carols with Carl… it will be a huge nail biting hour of frustration. See you then. 🙂

The Story of David Morse: Shithead Drummer

My friend Adam told me this story, about fifteen minutes ago. Legal marijuana was involved. I typed it up on my phone, as he was speaking. It’s gold.

In the three months I was kinda in a band, we were playing in the garage and Danny Morse, our shithead drummer, gets up from his kit, to go to the bathroom.

He comes back holding a stack of coffee filters, in one hand, out in front of him.
He said, “I shit in this. Let’s go rub it on a pay phone.”

So we drive to the nearest Payphone, which was like fifteen miles away (this is in rural Oregon, Willamette Valley). We’re all in this 1960’s Dodge van, with this fresh turd, and we get to the Plaid Pantry, and he just picks up the handset and just smooshes it in the shit, and hangs it back up.

He was holding it exactly like this.

He was holding it exactly like this.

Two Gentlemen At Leisure Discussing Matters Of Small Import

texts lol humor

Kate is Mark’s ex so that was awkward

hilarious texts sms lol

Have you watched You’re The Worst? It’s hilarious. Do it.

friends texting

Bruce Campbell. He’s awesome

fargo tv ronald reagan

Hail to the chief, baby

Mark: I don’t give a fuck, dipping your fries in your [milk]shake is awful, and inhuman. Hang your head(s) in shame. Do something awesome like heroin instead [Don’t do heroin kids. It’s bad because it’s so awesome].

Dale: Mark enjoys

Mark: I do. That last one was me. I was gonna tweet it but [the] last time I was myself on Twitter, people contacted [my ex] and asked if I was ok.

Dale: You’re just a special fellow, friend.

Mark:  I know. I am just shy of being a talent, so I’m a …. special fellow.

Dale: No, friend. You are not a talent. You are a treasure. [Awww, Dale. You’re so nice]

Mark: Awwww, that’s so nice, it makes me want heroin. 🙂  [Mark deals with praise by deflecting]

Dale:  Yes. I rematch the Craig/Tweek [Yaoi] South Park episode. It makes me all fuzzy. Soon I’ll return to You’re the Worst [The Mark was watching during this conversation] and become a scumbag again.

Mark: Lovely. I just scratched my back with a fork. I will watch another episode. [Always a gentleman]

Dale: I use my Halloween Wolverine claws for my back [Do not forget that humans are domesticated apes]. Tonight. Fargo. Bruce Campbell as President Reagan.

Mark: No. Way.

Dale: Yes, friend. Soon I will watch.