Red Dead Ridiculous
We’ve all heard them, the rumors of a sequel to the critically lauded Red Dead Redemption. Don’t say Red Dead 2! Red Dead Revolver was number 1, Red Dead Redemption was number 2, so the next one will be number 3. Details matter.
ZOMG! Like, Did You Hear?
With so many rumors being flailed around like so much monkey shit, I thought it was only appropriate to talk about a few of them. The RDR sequel has not officially been announced yet, but it was supposed to have been at E3, and then at Gamescom. Now, E3 and Gamescom have come and gone, and I’m beginning to feel a little antsy and frustrated. Even worried. No one misses deadlines because things are going great.
Rockstar has been mind numbingly cagey about the game, so lets go over some of the (mostly idiotic) internet and fan theories surrounding the plot of this highly anticipated game. Beware. It is quite possible that Rockstar screwed the pooch on this, and it’s gonna suck.
From Western to Western Front?
The first of these rumors says that RD3 will continue the story of the Marston family, picking up where RDR left off. It will feature the annoying, puberty-voiced, Jack Marston. Now I’ve read tons of rumors about how awesome it would be to pick up as Jack Marston, entering WWI and fighting. NO. This is a horrible idea!, RDR made it’s bones as a WESTERN game, and the best western game on the market. Why change that for a WWI themed story? You don’t dilute your brand like that!
Do people seriously want to replace the beautiful Western setting with war torn Europe?!?!?! if that’s what you want, kiddo’s, I suggest you send letters to Sledgehammer and request more Call of Duty games.
Some have defended the idea by saying that only the beginning of the game would take place during the war and Jack would then return to the Marston ranch, and then the Western would begin. Bullshit, WWI ends in 1918. By the time Jack returns home the West will be tamed. Let’s not allow Red Dead to slip into COD territory; going further into the future each installmen,t until we barely recognize the brand we once loved.
The second rumor is even more idiotic. Not long ago an anonymous Rockstar developer, aptly named AnonDN1978, decided his boss was a prick, and decided to leak information on the RDR sequel. This anonymous developer stated that the sequel would be named “Red Dead Redemption 2: Legends of The West”, and would feature younger versions of the moronic Irish and insane Seth.
Seth would be a banker in Kansas City and Irish is well, an Irish immigrant. I may have a better name for this game “Red Dead Ridiculous.” What do you think?
Who thought it was a good idea to build a game around the guy who accidentally shoots himself in the face on the toilet after the events of RDR? That’s like making Pulp Fiction 2: Marvin’s Tale.
If It Ain’t Broke
What makes even less sense is the idea that Rockstar would use the same location (New Austen). The West was a big place with a lot of stories, Rockstar doesn’t need to rehash old locations, and characters.especially They’ve built a reputation on doing the exact opposite.
One of the many things that made RDR spectacular was the feeling that you were actually in the West, discovering the land, watching the sunsets, riding your horse from location to location, encountering strangers who could be either friend or foe, Rockstar, give us this thrill again. Discovery was what the frontier was about, gamers. Don’t accept a rehash of places and names we already know. It’s only a rumor, but it’s still bullshit.
Lastly, the rumor that the next Red Dead would take place in………….Japan. What the actual fuck? JAPAN?!?!?!?!?
Sergio Leone’s classic spaghetti westerns starring were based on Yojimbo, Akira Kurosawa’s masterpiece, but that’s no reason to tie Japan to the Red Dead franchise. There’s a reason there’s not a GTA:Coruscant.
The Western has been criminally underused in the gaming world. It’s a great setting full of adventure, and brutality, where any man or woman can be as good, or bad, as they want to be. The Japan trope? Samurais? Overused.
What Say You, Mighty Dale?
Alright now that I’m done criticizing everybody else I’ll give you what I personally think would work in a sequel. The setting needs to change, just like the GTA games. We can return to New Austen in the future but not right away. The sequel could utilize places like Wyoming, Montana, Texas and the Dakotas. They’re all beautiful places with a lot of character and history.
There also needs to be a system to make money and things to spend that money on. A great way to do this would be ranches. The player can make money either by legal means, or robbing trains and banks. He can then buy a small parcel of land, build a ranch and as that ranch begins generating revenue, the player can expand their land, buy more stock, and make improvements to generate more revenue. Hell, you can even go on cattle and horse drives if you want. You can also spend your hard earned coin on guns, saddles, holsters, and whatever else your cowboy requires. This would create an in depth experience where what you do actually matters.
Another huge selling point for a sequel would be in depth customization. I’m not talking RPG levels of customization, but the player should definitely be able to change things like the characters hair and clothes, and most importantly things like their hat and boots. These are the most important things for every cowboy. Different styles and colors of hats and boots would go a long way in making your character feel yours.
The players guns and holsters also need to be customizable. When you watch as many westerns as I do you learn that people carried their guns in different ways. Some carry their pistol straight draw, some cross draw, some carry two guns, others just one. These things are important in giving a character a personality, and style all their own.
For the RDR sequel to work, the story needs to be just as beautiful, and in depth, as the first one. It is my favorite game of all time for this very reason. Any game that leaves the player wide eyed, jaw on the floor, feeling all the feels is a A+ perfect game.
A sequel, in my humble opinion, needs to go back in time, to the heyday of the old West. The 1870’s or 80’s would be an amazing setting. The map needs to be ENORMOUS (GTA V or bigger), and for the love of all things holy please include more Native Americans, both aggressive and friendly. While riding the map on his trusty steed the player should run the risk of meeting bandits, gangs and Native American raiders. Indigenous people were very very underused in RDR.
So Rockstar, please please give us some kind of official announcement soon. It’s time. GTA is great, but lots of people still prefer RDR. Just look at the fact that despite coming out in 2010, a player will still find an active community playing multiplayer, even though your multiplayer is absolutely broken and you guys don’t seem to give a shit to fix it.
The loyal fans need a sequel, Rockstar. Let us have it. You haven’t let us down before. Please do justice to this great game.