Krampus Mini Movie Review
Howdy, folks. I’ve just returned from seeing Krampus and fuck was it fun, was it the best horror movie ever? No. Was it the best Christmas movie ever? No, was it the best horror Christmas movie ever? maybe, so let’s get into it.
The Germans Ruin Everything.
Krampus is the story of a family at Christmas time,The thing is that most of them are shitty people. These people have simply become disillusioned with their lives and have forgotten the real meaning of Christmas. Pretty standard formula right? WRONG!!!!, Nothing is standard when Krampus gets involved.
As night falls a massive blizzard moves in knocking out the lights, radios, cell phones and everything else that might fuck up Krampus’s fun. Step one, isolate the prey. Poltergeist is a german word for a reason.
As the night wears on and, turns into days Krampus terrorizes our family with his hilarious minions including a demonic monster teddy bear, a Satanic Christmas tree angel, and a gang of murderous trigger happy gingerbread cookies. For real. It’s like Sam Raimi presents Shrek. It actually felt a lot like Gremlins at times.
This all makes the movie a whole lot of fun. It utilizes horror without sacrificing charm or Christmas spirit (like Home Alone). It also delivers laughs throughout (unlike Home Alone). Krampus’ very first appearance is also pretty memorable.
I’d recommend you go see this one this Christmas. If you love horror you’ll dig it. If you love Christmas movies you’ll probably dig it. If you just want to have a whole lot of fun I guarantee you will. If you’re one of those horrible people that bought a Krampus sweater a couple years back, when Krampus suddenly became a thing, then kindly drink bleach. Seriously. You’re the type of person who’s only days away from saying, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” at the office… for no reason. Please. Just stop. It’s exhausting.
This movie does a lot of things right, including somehow managing to get a lot out of their PG 13 rating and avoiding the pit fall of dragging it out. So get to the theater and have a little fun, leave seriousness or expectations at the door. And keep an eye out for a full review, with spoilers, after it’s been out for a while.